It's early in the morning and so my tears pass off as products of yawns.

Every two steps I take I pray God help me, help me just walk and get home first. God help me.

How do I convince him that if I fly over, I give him permission to be brutally honest. I give myself permission to be brutally honest. And if it doesn't work in say 3 months, then I will speak so, and he can speak so, and so be it, I take it as it is and will leave at peace. But the 3 months will be held by God and God-driven and led, so that there is no pressure of making it work, but only submission to God.

And if we find that peace from God after 3 months, if we find that sustenance from God, then we make plans from there. But not worry ahead. Because I believe God provides. I know He can do miracles. He will give me a job and even a sponsor if I need. I just need to walk by faith.

How do I tell him these? How do I ask him to take me back?

I wish he would come to Singapore. So that at least we can finish talking, I can finish talking, and then whatever decision comes at the end, it would be a decision we make together.