I'm a bit stressed.
Thats why just now emo emo. Haha.
But with God's strength I know I can live with peace.

That poem was written in about 10 minutes. For now, thats the standard you'll get from me.
Simple rhymes and nonsense.

The tears cannot stop falling
For the love I lost today
The colour of the rainbow's gone
My skies have turned to grey

All I have are yesterdays
When all was good and well
Regret now drowns my weary soul
I'm nothing but a shell

I've lost a spark
That lit my life
I've lost the tune I hum
I've lost a friend none can replace
I've lost you all my days

Is this a nightmare that haunts my dreams
Or is this reality
If only I could turn back time
To have you here with me

In the lonely darkness of my mind
I'm just left with emptiness and pain
What would I give to be by your side
To see you once again

My heart cries out
With all its soul
For the dreams that had to end
The tear will not stop falling
My soul has lost its only friend

---------------------------------------------------

This song came to my mind after what I saw today.
The Father's Hand
The musical I took part in in sec 2.
Miss.

----------------------------------------------------

I'm confused
I don't know what happened
All I know is
You've stopped callin'

I see the distance between us now
Getting wider by the day
I don't know how to pull you back
I need to find a way

I want to know what you think
But I don't dare ask
Because maybe we didn't start
Or maybe "us" simply passed

I should have treasure those moments with you
Even more than I did
They were so colourful
Now its memories all dead

Blame fate
Blame time
Blame distance
Blame me
Blame everything that separated us
Blame for eternity

I thought I didn't care anymore
And your presence wouldn't matter
But when I saw you again
None and miss
The latter

You were right beside me
I saw you, you didn't
You had a smile on your face
I didn't

Should I give up and let go
And not let my emotions follow?
Or should I hold on and wait
For one day you fill my heart now hollow.

It's 1:07am and I'm tired but I guess I should blog about this before tomorrow. There's a possibility that I'll only remember half of what happened today.



So. I had dance.



But before dance, the dancers were eating at the benched near the fitness corner. The ruggers finished training and were all playing basketball, slacking in the cafe..



ALL OF A SUDDEN.



They grabbed one guy, David I think, and dunked him in the dustbin they filled with ice water.



After much photo taking, they carried him to the rugby poles on the field and rammed him into it. TWICE. Poor thing.



And then they took down Irtiza (I hope I spelt it right) and did the same. And one more guy after that. But by the time they came to the third guy I was too grossed out to look. So I don't know who it was. Haha.



Dance was good, clean ups. Zaki didn't come. So we got to leave early! =D Fooled around after dance, did cheerleading stuff for hiphop, like elevators and jumps and handstands and other carrying stuff. Fun fun! Haha.



Bought a tiramisu cake and went to church. I was really late and missed out half of cg time. No good no good!



Didn't learn much. Candice Wynnie James Jon and I came to my house to deco before the rest came. We pasted balloons on the walls and wrote happy birthday on them. Haha.



James ordered 6 pizzas, I cooked a whole packet of soba, there were 2 cartons or juice, which are now finished, 2 bottles of pepsi. All gone.

All the soccer fans were watching the big game on tv and the rest of the people who weren't so crazy over soccer fooled around on my tagboard, explaining the jeanne/sherwyn/james' short nonsensical conversation. Haha.

Went down to the pool at about 10. Some of the J2s left then and the rest decided to go jacuzzi-ing. Malcolm threw himself in without anyone having to dunk him.

I was sitting with Mugen, Clement and Guowei safe and dry until the guys tried to carry me into the pool. Failed. Haha.

And then. They turned the showerhead at me. So I was half wet on the left side and my right was completely dry. Tsk. Haha. Bad feeling.

And after a while more they simply wrestled my phone away from me and "let me down" into the pool. Haha.

JEANNE it was for you! Haha. Since I promised you wouldn't get dunked. Haha.

Lucky I LIVE here. I HAVE change of clothes. Otherwise ah. Woah Cheryl Hoe might just kill someone. Haha. kiddin'!

I wore white shorts and my leather belt but it didn't stop them. Next time I'll wear a white shirt as well. Haha.

Ah but overall everyone had fun. RIGHT? Haha.

SPORTS DAY tomorrow.

Fun fun no studying. =)

There's dance after that, zaki's starting on the performance. EXCITING. Haha.

I hope he's doing hot ride. I think his choreography for that one is AWESOME.

If I had to make a choice between hot ride and feedback, i'll probably choose hot ride although i think feedback is DAMN COOL too! haha.

We'll just wait and see! =)

-----------------------------------------------

My timetable for tuesdays kinda suck.

8 to 9: Econs tutorial.
9 to 130: BREAK
130 to 230: Physical geog lecture.
230 to 330: BREAK
330 to whatever time: Academic programme
Whatever time to whatever time: DANCE.

Shift econs down so that we don't have to go to school so early! Haha.

Until something good happens to my timetable, I'll use tuesdays as consultation days.
I had about 2 hours of urban geog consultation with miss seow today. NOT ENOUGH. Haha.

Gonna bug the teachers like mad for consultations from now on. Wheee! Haha.

Haha ok so someone suggested I should take this seriously. Maybe I will. Yes I do read my tagboard. These days it has been so active there is "incentive" to return every day. Haha.



I wasn't really bothered by the tags. Afterall, all yall who really know me, know what I'm like. There's no need to defend myself haha. But. I shall try to reply some of the tags, address some of the issues. For what I hope is the last time.



Hmmm what should I say.



I've said this umpteen times, I AM uncute, anon2, thank you, you're right. Haha! =) Unknowingly, you've actually complimented me, even though you didn't mean it, I know. Haha.



"you really shouldn't even be a part of this world because you ruin everything yuck"



I have one thing to say.



I am God's workmanship, created for good works. Ephesians 2:10. This means I was created for a purpose, I was put on earth with reasons. One of which is to do good works. =)



"and limitless love is the most childish and ridiculous blog name"



I AM SO GLAD YOU MENTIONED THIS! Haha! Yay! Finally. =) The reason why I chose this name was because if anyone asked why my blog address was so stupid, I could explain. That there IS such thing as a limitless love. That is, from God. It's also a reminder that God's love is more than enough for every single one of us.



"im sure everything we strangers and anon ppl tag.. do matter to you. you are weak."



Yep. It did at first. Otherwise I wouldn't have cried when there was that first unpleasant tag. But it doesnt now, cos all these criticizing tags are obviously ridiculous and not believable. No explanations nothing. Just criticizing. If you wrote an essay like that, it won't score high. Cos there are no examples, substantiation or anything. Haha. Thus the tags were not worth taking to heart. The first tag was more realistic and believable. So I WAS hurt. You're right. Haha. Get it now? If you want to hurt someone, it has to look real. And be believable. Not that I encourage hurting people. You should probably stop. It's not very nice to simply criticize people like that.





"you all are the most PATHETICALLY PATHETIC bunch of freaks"



YEP. I don't mind being labelled a freak. Fool for Christ. Haha. There is something in the Bible that mentions this. Anyone knows the reference? The verse is about being labelled a fool, for Christ. Something like that. =)



"cheryl...worse than a pile of poop that not even a dog would bother to look at. most importantly, stay ugly flat DISGUSTING unwanted UNWORTHY despised loathed upon hated"



I am a branch of the true vine, Jesus, a channel of His life. John 25:1-5

I am the salt to the earth and light of the world. Matt 13-14

I have been bought at a price. I belong to God. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

I am a member of Christ's body. 1 Corinthians 12.37

This means, I'm loved, I'm not unwanted, not despised. =)

Enough said? Haha.

Don't worry, I don't treat my friends like dogs. Haha.

Angel I really miss you! Haha. Woah but your language a bit scary! =D I can't wait to meet up though! Haha. How's school?



Nevertheless, anon2. It's about time to stop criticizing people like that. Names are what our parents gave. You're implying our parents were horrible name givers. Put yourself in our shoes. You wouldn't feel good if someone else said your name sucked.



Ok. I'm about done replying tags.



Oh yeah. Hey everyone, lets all continue tagging on my board, about totally different stuff. Hmmm. Let's discuss.. Erm. Upcoming events? School, army? anything else. Haha. Totally off tangent from where it is now. Change the topic and let anon2 himself/herself continue criticizing like a 'cronerlap'. (Go figure.)

Sooner or later he or she'll be tired no one agrees/disagrees. Haha!



Replying him or her would just fuel attention towards him or her, which is probably exactly what is wanted.



So let me, let this post be the last reply to him or her.


Whatever is said after this, from him or her, or other critical people, just let it go. =)

Even if he or she just continues rambling. Or goes " F YOU F YOU F YOU."

Don't care ok? =)



To anon2 and everyone else for that matter. Let this be gentle reminder, to watch your words. Apparently I can trace who says what and block or ban whoever I want. I'm not unreasonable, I'm not taking any action now. Maybe if you don't like whatever I say, you can not visit my blog. Haha. Haven't you considered! Good what, stay out of other people's lives. You probably don't know me, or met me anyway. Haha.

ok lah. i'm all you think i am aight.

if you think i'm unworthy, i am.

if you think i'm disgusting, i am.

if y0u think i'm nice, then i am.

it doesn't really matter to me anymore haha.

my identity is in Christ. =)
============================

i contemplated deleting my tagboard and putting up a new one.

but i've decided not to, i want to let everyone learn from this experience.

from the beginning it was all my fault, and i am sorry.

now i've learnt that i cannot please the world, even if i try my hardest to.

there would still be people who have different opinions and i accept that.

impressions are important and maybe i've given some people a bad one.

doesn't matter now, time cannot be rewound.

i can't do much now anyway, unless you can think of a way. then tell me. =)

I wish people can see it my way sometimes for a change.

I wish people would bother to stand in my shoes for a while.

I know I do sometimes. Stand in other's shoes.

I'm gonna write a poem.

Maybe it'll be good enough for a song. If it doesn't, it'll still be a poem. =)

I was about to post a long entry replying the tags on my board. But then I decided that all these is trivial. I'm not gonna stoop to the same level.

Just some advice.

Don't know what happened, ask before commenting ok. Sometimes people just jump to conclusions and get it all wrong.

Substantiate your points. Please don't just criticize me for no reason.

Choice of words. Very important.

Some anonymous person tagged something really harsh.

anonymous: It is unbelievable how callous you are towards the feelings of others. Truly the world does not revolve around you. Please stop being so self-centred. It just shows the nice big crack in an otherwise perfectly cut daimond. Please mature and grow up.

I didn't know the meaning of callous so I checked it up and it means unfeeling/insensitive.

I understand the implied meaning of the tag but I don't understand "It just shows the nice big crack in an otherwise perfectly cut diamond."

Enlighten me, all you english/lit pros. Haha.

So you know how sucky I am. One day I'm gonna start reading the dictionary and improve my vocab.

Point of this entry: His/her words were really painful to read. I cried because a stranger or someone I know but is not brave enough to admit to giving that comment made that comment. It's a first I'm being disliked in JC. Not fun. But what am I to do? I can't please everyone although I try to.

It is after all, a blog, meant for me to express thoughts.
I write what I feel, what I see.
What I publish would definitely find disagreements.
But you can't blame me for saying such stuff.
If I didn't have any thoughts I wouldn't blog. So the presence of the entries show that such thoughts have occurred in my mind before. Surely something happened that make me think like that. So why does it feel like I'm totally wrong? That what I think isn't true at all?

So maybe I'm wrong. Ok, even then, his/her words were really damn hurtful man. Not nice.

OKAY! SO! This is what happenned today.

Woah heart pain. Ok over.

Haha. So. Today's lessons were normal, I felt sleepy in geog lec. BUT I didn't sleep! Haha. Big difference ok. I didn't sleep in anything for this week! ( Except monday. =( ) That's a damn big improvement. I think it's my specs. Haha.

This keeps up, I can proudly strike off " Didn't sleep in school for a week" off my "must-dos before I turn 18" list. Haha. Aiyah better late than never right? =)) My list is not here. It's somewhere else. If you know.

So yeah. Everyone was stressing over k's lesson as usual. Then we decided to PRAY.

So rachel said a prayer with the class for the class and we settled into our places.

K came. AND SHE WAS SMILING.

Omt. And everyone looked at each other and we knew our prayer was answered. AMAZING.

She didn't scold, she merely nagged the hour away, about our Blocks, how to improve, what were the main mistakes we made... which meant in the end we didn't start on our presentations. AWESOME.

She actually praised us a little. I still cant get over the shock.

When she left, we prayed thanksgiving and for the year ahead. Jeannette reminded me about prayer group and I voiced it out and it was decided we would have it during the 2 hour break before k's tutorials in thursdays!! AHHH YAYYY!! =D

Thank God for his miracles and his mercies.

Thank God for the change of attitudes in k and us.

Thank God. Thanks God.

After school, Diana Zhuann Ame Serene and I walked over to Ascension to get a cab to NJC. We stood there for like 15 minutes and no cab. And so we prayed again and 2 CABS CAME ALONG!
Haha!

Power from above. =)

It started to rain right after we boarded the taxis and it was pouring when we reached NJC. We were totally soaked. Rargh. I went to the toilet to freshen up and when I came out, the match was cancelled. wtt.

Oh oh oh. Something really _____ happened today. ( You read on and decide for yourself what word you want to use.

Zhuann and I went to find Gussie to say bye. And the soccer guys were having a discussion with Roland Lee the physics teacher/soccer coach. We waved at Gussie and he raised his eyebrows and I guess a few other soccer boys looked our way too cos Mr Lee turned around and saw us. ( We were obviously behind him)

And Mr Lee was," Oh yall need to pass through?"

Me: Oh, no. No. ( And I smiled)

Mr Lee: Oh you want to find somebody? Jem Ong?

Me: Huh! NO!

And I heard the guys laugh. Haha oh man.

I turned and left almost immediately. =p

Went to Island Creamery, nice! I tried 4 flavours in total. Haha. I thought teh tarik was good. Or maybe it just reminded me of the good times in school, when the price of tea leaves weren't so high yet and there was teh bing at $1.20 only.

Everyone got teh bing then. It was the norm. Now, people have no choice but to get bandung. But seriously, it sucks.

SO EXCITING THERE'S CELL/ PRAYER GROUP NEXT THURSDAY!

Thank you God for answering my prayers. =)

Oh my tians. SHOCKER.

Today at dance we did our short pieces. Ours was one of the shortest. We started working on it on Wednesday and we added a lil bit more on saturday. But we thought ours was cute. Unique. Haha.

So after each of the 4 groups had finished their performances, Zaki commented on each one.

And he announced ours as the 'winner'. And for the reward...

IT'S GONNA BE AN ITEM FOR RAPTURE!!!

Oh my goodness. AHHHH.

Haha.

Now I have hiphop, jazz, matt's half dance, and this. Plus there's zaki's item, openning, finale... I hope I can cope.

It's all exciting!

Now I better study.

RAPTURE this year is DEFINITELY gonna be damn cool. No more excessive emo stuff. Not that last year's rapture was bad. It was GOOD. But this year's is gonna be DAMN GOOD. =) I can't wait!

You want tickets?

Cheryl's weak in everything. So nobody's expecting anything big from her.

But nobody stops to help her cos she looks like she can handle it. Plus, I've got enough to do on my own. If I help her, she might actually be able to do it. I want my A.

Really. Stop being so damn selfish.

Stop living in denial and look around you. I'm serious. Everyone just wants to do well. Cannot help another person. Ask that person to go study on her own.
Go read your notes. It's there. Just memorise everything.

I can see it so clearly, can you? Come on people. Play together, study separately? No fair. Sounds like we're all superficial. We all want to do well. Secrets cannot be shared.

Nicole the queen has managed to pull a damn goo april fools prank on me. Well done. Haha

She told me she would be leaving for Aussie in a month for 3 years to study and she made it seem real, with a whole detailed story on how she chanced upon the opportunity and all.

I believed her at first and then I remembered it was april the 1st so I told her I didnt want to believe her and I asked her to tell me the same thing the next day haha.

And the next day after geog she told me over the phone again that it was still gonna be the same, that she was still leaving. I was on the way to the cafe and I stopped in my tracks and cried like mad. Haha. And I cried and cried until she told me it was a joke. WAHLAO.

Mr Leong saw me crying and he thought I was terribly upset over the grades I had obtained for Blocks. So he came to comfort me. Haha. I told him I was crying cos of a headache. =p

NICE ONE NICOLE CHEW. Haha. If you ever leave Singapore I'll make sure you sit in a bathtub filled with my tears for 24 hours. Rargh.

Mr Leong power.

10 minutes before he dismissed lecture today, he said that we did really badly for geog as a whole. And so he had a discussion with Miss Seow and together they decided to give everyone 5 marks more for BTs on the condition that in a timed 5 minutes, we stated as many capital cities as possible. Mr Leong stated that we had been through the capital cities in human geog tutorial so it should be ok.

Of course there is a cap of 5 marks so even if you gave double what was required you'll get only 5 extra points.

Throughout the 5 minutes, everyone was quite tensed. I guess we all wanted the extra 5 marks. And at the end of the 5 minutes, he told all geog reps to collect the papers.

Then he stood in front of the theatrette, and after a long pause (during which Sybil and I were discussing how he looked like he just punk'd us), he said," Do you think I'll really give yall 5 marks extra for blocks?"

And he walked out of the theatrette.

Good april fools prank Mr Leong. Sure stunned everyone.

Haha.