what is this la. crap.
i went for appointment today at kk hospital. then the doctor said i had to come back for another appointment. the nurse at the counter said that only the next week is available, as the other weeks later are all full. thursday morning 11 plus and friday 2 plus available. without really asking me, mum just arranged it on friday.

hello?? i have eldds trainning. and the trainner is being paid like what $100 an hour or something. my school is not rich you know. plus she is already so kind to not charge us $10,000 for the extra practices she is coming for us. syf is like so close now, the school just gave out a letter of cooperation and then straightaway, i cannot go for the next practice. syf is only 35 days away, meaning another 3 or 4 more pratices on fridays thats all. what is this la. tell me..

yes. 11 plus thursday i have school. but hello. lots of people miss school for health appointments. exams are not here, i dont see why cannot? try to threaten me, what next time no cca or whatever crap? all because of my mother i quit table tennis. THATS WHY it resulted in all these health problems. argghhh..and hello? who likes to study? i mean if anyone was given the choice to study or not study for a day, i rather not. and i think 999 out of 1000 people would think same as me. means i am normal. just because i am normal you give me silent treatment? this is madness. this is unreasonable. this is __________ ( fill in the blank by youself. note: must be a bad word.)

i told my mum that a normal person would not choose studying over a day away from studying. i out talked her. hah.

i HAVE friends in school, maths geniuses, chinese prodigies and other really smart and responsible people in class sitting beside me. they can help me and give me all the info i need if i miss anything. so missing anything is not a problem.

the nurse at the counter was like, " does she behave like that at home?"

i dont think my mum answered it. but she said something about nowonder nowadays people dont want to have kids. yea. ok. next time i shall no have any kids. see where you get your grandchildren to carry from. go find bryan or something.

the nurse was like," you have to set an example.. blah blah.. drone drone drone.. crap crap and more crap." i didnt hear what she said. but just because of a stupid appoinment make the relationship between me and mum explode is not worth it.


stupid nurse, stupid appointment, screw everthing. i am planning to go missing on friday just to get revenge for the silent treatment i am enduring now. haha.. up to you to believe if i have the guts to do this.

we took a taxi home. and i was so tired i slept in the taxi. when i woke up, it was already at home and my mum was about to close the taxi door with me still inside. hello? she has no courtesy to wake me up? fine la. next time i shall just continue sleeping in the car. if there is a next time. this is stupid. give me silent treatment just because i out talked her. just because i am a normal person who prefers not studying to studying for a day. UNREASONABLE. UNFAIR. just because i.. oh forget it.


the nurse doesnt even know anything la. and then she judged me because i didnt want to go for the appoinment? she started talking crap about me and all. i was already kind not to rebuke her and just frown at her already. i am like super pissed off now.

hmm. i realised i get angry easily nowadays. like last time, my blog entries were not so harsh so often.

isit because i am like super stressed and have no place to vent my anger and stress? arghhh. breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. now count to 10.

i feel like cursing. no cannot. CANNOT. CHERYL HOE. RELAX.. RELAX..

i just want to cry, run, run. run. and run. run away to a place where i have no troubles. run away to a place that has no anger, that has no sad faces, that has only laughter and happiness, that is always engulfed in music, music and more music. i must be dreaming.

i want to scream, i want to shout. but where?? here in singapore, if you make a bit too much noise, people would like start penning a letter to complain or whatever. there is in open field big enough for me. no land isolated enough for me. actually i think, there is no place at all for me. maybe heaven. only. but now, how can i go to heaven. so means there really is not place for me. hell is not an option.

i am going to be 39 kg soon. if i keep all these stress in my life. maybe all the stress juice or whatever is acidic, when it is secreted, it will burn up my fats and all. haha. hey, there's a good side to this eh. burn fats burn. mayabe i will start taking extrim or something just because mummy told me not do today. haha. she would never know what. haha. kidding la. i would feel better if i worked it all off by myself. can vent a bit of anger at the same time..

now i am not that upset, cos i am by myself, typing. haha. ok. i realised my entry doesnt make sense. i must be mad.

hah. i hate my life now. i SO hate my life now.

my career. ever since primary 2, my ambition has never changed. i want to be in the showbiz. but my parents dont think it is decent. what?? i dont see any logic? i dont understand. my passion is in showbiz. not sitting in an office, slogging your brains dry. i like filming, i like acting. it doesnt matter if filming takes a long time. this is my passion. you guys just dont understand. you know, being older doesnt mean you are always right. you have to face it and accept it that i am different.

i cant be bothered to write more. i want to go sleep by life away.

ge, faster call me.