new life.

crying really makes you feel better.. or at least, for the mean time.

can i say i hate my life, and i hate my parents? can i?

why is life unfair? dont answer that.

i already said i would be going to the appointment and all, but daddy is not satisfied with this answer.

he started brabbling about me having wrong piorities and all. yea. i admit, i did have wrong priorities, but he continued on quitting school, going to find a job by myself, doing things by myself. how i wish i can go live by myself. i was so tempted to say, but i cannot go because i have no house, have nothing.

my parents, even took it out with the dog. " you also want to rebel isit? GO IN THE HOUSE NOW."

what is this? this is living hell. this is living HELL. once again i am going through a period of trials.

can i ask God where He was when i needed him?
can i ask where is He now?
can i ask why is all these happening to me?
can i just leave the house now to go run till my heart drops out of my mouth?
i am so tempted to. but when i return, i will definitely get another lecture/debating session on my age and what i cannot do now.

what CAN i do now?

i ask questions because i am curious and i dont understand. but my parents have this picture i like to quarrel. yup. quarrel. hello? i didnt raise my voice at all..

how to start a new life?

God, i rededicate my life to you and i ask that you be with me through this period of my life. i feel tired, i feel anger, i feel sad, i feel bad. Lord, give me strength, give me happiness, take away my anger, help me be good. Lord, i pray that daddy and mummy will understand how i feel and not be so unreasonable. i pray that you help me be who you want me to be. i pray that syf will go smoothly, i pray for motivation to study, i pray for a hardworking term and i pray that i woud be able to understand all that is taught in school. i pray that my grades would go up, especially for maths and a maths. Lord all my other subjects are not too good as well. i pray that you will give me greater expectations. when i die Lord, please bring me up to heaven. i pray and ask that you forgive my sins today. thank you for dying on the cross for me. thank you for letting me know about you.
Lord, you know me better than i know myself. so help me through everything, all i want is to be in heaven when i die. i pray and ask all these in Jesus' most precious name, amen.

now, i dont hate my parents. now, i thank them for loving me so much that they are willing to let me misunderstand everything so that i can grow up to have a good life. so that now, i will study hard, and pass all my exams.

i am living a new life. hi, my name is cheryl =) ......