"if you think you're the best..THINK AGAIN..there are so many ppl better than you..YOU're the worst!"

that was exactly what she said.
it was directed at me. i know. even though she didnt say it was me.
cos it cannot be at anyone else.

we mailed each other a lot recently. and we talked about our 'teams'.

i suck. i am the worst.
i lose. i always lose.
i am stupid. i scored 72 for maths not because of my hard work.
not because i studied. not because i practiced so much.
it is because the teacher was lenient.

she is always right. i am always wrong.
without her, we would do wrong things. it would be chaos.havoc.
we cannot do without her.

she said she was tired. what about me?
so am i. tired of everything. except God, church, dance, drama.
this is my life.

so far, yet so lethal. so destructive.

she knows who she is.she knows this is for her.
she will say that it was for another person.
dont lie anymore. i hate it. denial and more denial.