I met Timmy and as I was sharing about how I've moved on, I realised that I really am still grieving over what was lost. Because I have no answers and I cannot understand. As much as I tell people that I've given it to God and have asked for peace whether or not I have closure, my tears were involuntary. I tried my best not to cry already.

I really don't want to trouble him anymore to give me something I need to move on. What more, I'm sure he's already at peace with the decision he made. It was, after all, a decision he made. So why initiate, why bring him back to a place he hates? I tell myself, if I love him, I'll let him be happy and free as he should be now. If he's not completely happy, he'll turn to God anyways, he doesn't need me.