It's been a while since I wanted to cry over school work.

Today's one of those rare days.

My parents made me feel like when I grow up and when I need to find work, there won't be any for me. Not cos I can't do it, but cos I don't want it.

How about I really have no idea what I want to do in life. Absolutely no idea.

Or rather, I do, but I tell you I don't, cos anyway you'll say no.

I want to act. To be on camera. To perform. More camera than stage but I enjoy stage too. Sing, yeah, that too. Dance, less of that, though I really REALLY love it. I don't mind.

I don't need a big role, I don't have to be the main star, I just love the process of filming, redo-ing every scene until perfection, repeating lines and actions, giving the same emotions again and again. Bringing the story to life, bringing the characters to audience.

Tiring? Yeah. But thats what I love, my passion.

Boring? Absolutely not.

Ever since primary 2, it's been my dream.

I'm not gonna sleep with directors for big roles, that will just make the whole production crappy, cos there might be someone else better than me at my role. It's the whole production, it's not about me. I want what I deserve, what I can do best.

Plus sleeping with people and all that, it's just against what I believe in.

I don't wanna be some office worker, sitting behind the desk for fixed hours, leaving home and going home at the same time every day. I want change, I want to interact with new people all the time, I want to see new stuff. Unless of course, the office is in a church. I'll be a church staff anytime.

But other than that, I don't know.

Mummy and daddy kept naming jobs. And I could tell they were trying to name all the more interesting jobs in the office. They were trying to avoid the word "act".
So much for supportive parents.

Doesn't matter, I'm not thinking about it now. I'll leave it to God to settle it for me.