i never felt so wierd in my life. i feel jealous. i feel like an outcast, overshadowed by the leaders, the high Ds people i am hanging out with. i went for more leadership training, but nothing can beat social connections, reputation and popularity. i think its the same, but anyway..

a math was a mind tiring. learning differenciation. i didnt quite get it but after today i did.

did questions after questions for lesson and i slowly foud out how to do them. differenciation, for the benefit of those not studying it, is a tedious process whereby you simplify, add, factorise, blah blah, blah blah.

the last question we did for the day was so tedious and tricky that when i had to copy the answer on the board, i was in shock and didnt move for a while. after everything, i felt so wierd. i had to hold my neck with my left hand and the table in the other. slowly i was breathing faster and got more emotional. then finally i ended lessons by crying but smiling at the same time.

tired, zonked and stressed out.

mummy had to counsel me yesterday. i love my mum. i can tell her anything. audrey said her mum doesnt talk to her like that.