the first thing my mum wanted when we got home was the report book.
not the dinner, not anything. but the report book.

next, she looks it through and say " hey.. look here. you deproved in this this this this and this. and you only improved in english and a math."

but hey. how can anyone compare between eoy and ca? ca is not even made up of tests but by homework. means we get time to do it. duh i can score higher..

dad opened the report book and went," you see. your teacher said you have to manage your time better."

human nature. parents only see the bad side of their children's reports. no wonder he didnt see the "cheryl is an eloquent girl who expresses her ideas very well. she is enthusiastic about trying new activites." he only saw the ," however, she must remember to manage her time carefully."

when i mentioned about him not seeing the good part. he said that being enthusiastic was a problem. fine. since my parents dont like me being enthusiastic, from now on, i shall not try anything that is new. hmmm. maybe i will just leave all my math questions blank. hey. its new...

when giving us the annual lecture, my blood started to boil. then he said to me that i was one of the lowest in the standard. i nearly blew. but of course, i said in a calm manner that on the contrary, i was one of the top in class and top in the standard for those who do the same subject combinations as me. he paused, flipped open my report book again, read, then kept quiet. hah!
blindly saying stuff.. see.. unfair. in sec 1 and sec 2. i was the lowest in class. duh. being with all the top psle scorers who score something like 270 and above in the best class doesnt help. now add in table tennis. i only got 246. not even special. and they put me int he best class...i dun blame them for this. its in the past.

anyway. dad said i was too sensitive. well. maybe i am. but hey. you cant blame me and made me guilty straighaway.. whatever happened to innocent before proven guilty? with all that i have just been through, i dont need more bad stuff to happen. mum said i have to get used to it cos next time when i grow up and go to work, people are gonna make nasty remarks..

hello. whatever people say i dun care. but if my parents said all the bad stuff.. it means i might be really bad. fine. then i shall live up to the title. of a bad child. oh wait. maybe i should be like my parents. afterall, they are supposed to be role models. so if they are pessimistic, if they only see the bad side and not eh good side of their children. next time i should do the same. just complain on how bad she had done, not even congratulating her for the improvements and telling her how lousy she is, how she can improve, and of course, say stuff that is not even true. even if you are not sure if it is, just say it. like maybe for example, being the lower ones in the standard.

yea sure. my mum did say i did improve a bit and that i did put in effort. but thats all. she tells me next on what i should be getting for the next exams.

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today, the day when i was hit by 2 tragedies.

no ld president or vice president.
no major role in the film. instead, the lousiest.
no encouragements after parents see report book. just put downs and disencouragements. if there is such a word.

God has a plan, He has a purpose of putting you in all these. He loves you and cares for you. you will know better after sometime, why its like that.

yea. i know. i heard it all. but its now that i am in. and now, i cant see anything. duh i am so upset. but hey. how can you blame me? i am not god.