i m feeling rather down now. so i decided to blog about it.

ok how to start?

firstly, i feel like i am being left out of everything. i dont do the things that other people like to do a lot.

for example. its the exam week and everyone should know how much people like to talk about the paper after the exam. i hate the hypocrisy. however you spell it.

i hate it when people who have shown themselves to be very capable in their studies go something like this...

" aiya.. i sure die la!! you know question 3.. i never do part 5.. "

people will start coming into the conversation...

"how to do?? is it bring log to both sides then.... "

"argh!! i got that at first then i thought its the wrong answer!!! i threw the whole paper away!!"

"10 marks leh!! 10 marks!! die la!! i bet i minus ten thousand marks already la!"

" i even worse lor! you know how many questions i didnt do? i left...."

"oh my goodness.. my question 10.. question 10... question 10!!!"

" what answer did you get for that question? its supposed to be..."

" huh!! i got a different answer!!!"

" i already minus 16 marks! cos i never do .... questions....how.. how??"

i would be watching at the side. cos i hate talking about exams. sometimes when they ask me what is my answer or what i would discuss a little. but i really hate post exam chat.. in my mind, i would be greatly distressed and uneasy. cos i also left out... questions and so did the other girl. but she let it all out screaming..gaining "pity" and "sympathy".. whatever it is la...

then there would be a great increase in decibels. then the next door teacher will come into the classroom of students literally screaming," argh!! " and the teacher would go...

" girls. next door is still having their exams. can you all please lower down your volumes??"

but thats another topic. anyway. all these people would start calculating their marks on the board. and they will be like...

" aiya.. forget it la! fail already count for what. i have no points to count la!"

when the exam results are out, they will go..

" see la! my question... what is this lor. so lousy. i only got 20 out of 25 leh! this is crap la! my whole year results gone case already la!!"

and what will i get? i will be the real failure. with like average marks...

== pause ==

i dont want to continue any further.

i know what will cheer me up though..

the thoughts of post exam activities..

although too many activities, but they are all nice.

volleyball training and competition, dramas ( note the plural tense) for safari at pl, filming for the video...( most looking forward to..) mega camp, tm camp, holiday to australia, mob trip!

ok. change subject. now i know when something is wrong with me.

when i feel super down after exam papers.
when i walk out in fellowship at cellgroup. my first.
when when i turn out into the corridor, tears start flowing. but i dun know what i am crying for. i mean like. i dun know what is making me so sad.

when even a slow song can make me think so much.
when my brother just does an action, like telling me i am wrong when i haven even answered half of the iq question he post. turns out i got the answer right.

now, what can make me happier?

i realised my mood swung up after playing with joanne's 5 puppies. i left her house laughing.
maybe some close friends and i hanging out or something.
new stuff. like low belt school uniform..( sorry. these things are not manufactured anymore.)
new clothes or stuff.
barbequing with friend from school or church.
partying with them.
playing with young stuff like babies or animals or something.
the second nicole gets the horrible third picture of her blog. the one that makes me look like a monster( inproportionate face parts) but her like an angel.
the day the person i like asks me out or something.

i dunno la.


dreams.. tmr. no tuition. yes! finally. can wake up naturally. without people waking me up.
this week alone. i had 5 tuitions. from monday to thursday. thats average more than 1 a day. madness.

no wonder i am crazy.