its true. my brother treats me like shit. like a pile of crap.

its always me.

i clear the mess.
i lose.
he wins.
i cry.
he smiles.
i stay at home and study.
he goes out to play.
i am alone.
he has a million friends.
when i want to read a book, he snatches it away.
and he can get away with it.
the reason?
he is weaker in english, needs to read more.

why cant he take another book? after all, it has been on the shelves for so long.
i took it only a while ago to read. and i am halfway through..

he plays computer from afternoon to night.
but when i want to use it, he is 'doing his homework'.
then i cant do mine.
i get it from the teacher the next day.

i feel unwanted.
i feel small.
yes boss. yes bryan the big boss.
everything you say counts.
everything i say is not heard.

i have no respect as an elder sister.
what happened to the respect a younger sibling had for his older sibling?

when no one clears the mess, its always me to clear it. and i then is given the label 'loser'.

he acts all innocent.

i am the devil.

he is loved. i am not.

who am i? what am i?

why does he get the good stuff, i dont?
why does everyone seem happy and cheerful when i am crying?

why does he act like he is the good son when dad and mum are home?

he doesnt get 'talked' to when he goes out the whole day.
i always get scolded for not spending enough time at home doing my homework.

i have to clear the table. i have to mop the floor. i have to close the windows.
he can sit back and relax on the sofa.

they act as if nothing is happening when i cry. they go on with their lives.
no one ever asks me why i cry. no one cares enough to bother.

he demands to use my room to talk to his girlfriend. its my room. ITS MINE!

he just called me a lesbian. my blood boiled. but i had control, didnt curse, didnt swear..

i cry. i want to leave this horrible place. i hate my brother. he's not even my brother.