my birthday?

my birthday. but it is the second birthday that saw me cry badly.

pe today. we had to stay in the mens push up position and let the rest of the team cross over your back. there were like about 8 to 9 people in a group. so we suffered for a while. the last team to finish( 4 teams) had to do like 30 pumpings. mrs teo said we crossed at the legs( shorter in height) so had to redo. then we did it properly. we refers to the whole class.but mrs teo said we still didn't do it properly. and she got mad. made us run around the 3 basketball courts until she said could stop.

i ran and stop to tie shoelaces. and ran. and stopped to tie shoelaces. and ran somemore. overall, i stopped only to tie shoelaces. plus the people who didnt take pe could witness i ran like crazy non stop. people called me nuts when i over took them and asked them not to walk. they said i could run by myself. so i did. now tell me happy birthday.

i was super tired. tasted blood. after eternity then mrs teo asked us to stop. she said it was only 10 minutes. hello?

anyway, she then scolded us because we could not cross over people properly. what is this?

she then ordered us to do more push ups. i was super super tired. so i paused, looked weak. ok i WAS weak. then lied down and breathed deeply. people came and 'rescued' me. they asked if i was ok. i heard mrs teo say " ask her to breath slowly" that all. no run over to take responsibility. no "how are you". just a " next time if you cannot take pe just write me a long letter and i will excuse you." when i finally stood up. she didn't even come to 5 metres away.

i am seriously pissed but i shall be forgiving.

ok now is where i apologise for being such a great actorr. i don't think my heavy beathing was real. but maybe it was. =p. i never had something like that. and it took alot of courage to not do the push ups and 'faint".

but i did feel very weak. very very weak till i couldnt really stand.

i drank some milo as instructed from mrs teo far away.

mrs soh was at the canteen and i told her everything. hah.

finished my milo, went up for maths.

got back quiz. seriously failed but haven't told parents yet. i m too afraid.
not gonna say how much i got. but it was really really really bad.

cannot say that 8 other people failed with me.
cannot judge yourself with others.

the worse part was i couldnt find any area to add marks. and i didnt understand where went wrong. but i studied so hard. really hard. this is so unfair.

i could accept my marks until like after maths. so during maths i was still smiling. then after maths i cried. haha. yea slow reaction. i realised what people said last year. i looked steady and confident. its just i wore my mask. dun understand? dun need to.

i haven taken off my mask. so now i look super cool, carefree. bo chap about my results. but you cant see inside. everything is a mess in me. every thing is broken. like millions of tiny fragments of glass.

mummy, please dont scold me. i will work harder. plus i have already made arrangements with my maths teacher. will stay back a lot to do alot of maths with her.

actually, i wish this day never happened. this day really shattered me. its a pity its my birthday.

celebrated witha cake, and my family. watched zi zing zhi dian, got some ideas for choreography moves for ld.

i think jr ( qing tian) and gino ( tian xian) really rock at street dancing. ok. they rock at dancing. and 'monica' plus 'aki' rocked too. in a different dance way.

i m gg to try forget today.