I'm reminded of Hosea. I still think we could work it out, I still think he's worth flying over for. Dear God, how come he doesn't think so? Would You convict his heart for me? Would You help me tell him that You'll take that pressure he thinks he'll feel, You'll hold our relationship in Your hands, You'll bless it and guide it, even if I fly over? That my flying over is not putting my life on hold, but taking steps to move in a direction that You allow? Will You convince him that I'll be honest, that even if it comes to it, I'll make the decision to stop, and fly back, so that he doesn't think that he's obligated to be in a relationship with me? Will You convince him that he'll have the courage to be honest too, to make the decision to stop even if I fly over?

Dear God, what words should I use to change his strong mind? Clearly he still wants me too, but he thinks it's impossible. But dear God, You said nothing is impossible for You.

Dear God, because I love You more than Dave, I'll trust You.

Because You love me more than Dave can and does, I'll trust You.

Because You love Dave more than I can and do, I'll trust You.

Whatever it is, I trust You.

I'll declare it not as the devil's victory, but as Your plans all along. Perhaps we need a short break, to heal, though it's painful to be apart, but maybe it's necessary in order to come back again and fight harder.

But dear Lord, even in this break, remind me every minute I live that You have good in store for me, because I forget easily. Remind me that You have work for me to do, so I can't just go home to You just yet as much as I want to.

But Lord, if I can't take it anymore and forget all that, I pray You'll hold me and take me home. I love You even though I can't take the pain. I want to run from it even if it's an act of cowardice.