i hate to think about stuff like that.

i hate to think about relationships. and i hate it when other guys ask me to consider a relationship.

NO THANKS.

maybe i'll stay single my whole life.

or until you ask me.

I feel like such a failure.

Seriously, I'm nothing but dumb. Stupid.

Oh Cheryl, must breathe.

Maybe I'm just not working hard enough.

But I'm really studying so much.

I feel like it's not fair. The amount I put in is not equal to the results I get.

So ok fine, I'm stupid.

Urgh. I feel so disgusted with myself.

Today is the first time in my life I've thought of myself as worthless. Useless. Like junk. Or worse.

But no, I'm not suicidal.

Today is the first time ever since I've been here that the water in my eyes made it out of my eyes.

The first and last time. Never again.

I'm so happy cos I went for dinner and drinks.

And I can tell you that no matter where you are in the world, one kind of place smells the same.

I found that place today. =)

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I'm glad that even though I know there'll be many things to think about in future, I don't have to think about it now.

I think I'll just come online on Thursdays. Seriously.

If I don't start studying harder I'll totally kill myself.

Remember how I said that there was a way to know if you really like him? And that's when you never want him to not come?

I found out another one.

It's when talking every day is never an overkill. There's always not enough time.

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I feel a bit urgh. Cos someone is overkilling me right now.

Only you make me feel this way. Only you stir up emotions I try to bury.

Too competitive and too much of a perfectionist.

I must remember to do what's enough and move on.

What a struggle.

Thank you Joash. Love you. I loved the song you recorded. It is a good reminder of who God is and how I don't have to be afraid.

It's the best letter anyone has written for me.

Even though I've pretty much settled down, there are so many things I haven't thought about ever since I've been here and your song has reminded me about so much and gave me answers I already have but never dared to put it across my mind in print. I'm overwhelmed in a good way. :)

You can't have the promise land if you keep missing the desert.

And I will not cry. Cos I refuse to. I refuse to feel like an idiot. =)

Ok. I'm not stressed by the 100% anymore. I still am stressed over school.

Ok. Jiayou cheryl. You can do it.

Thank God for giving me a miracle. Thank God for answering my prayers.

I need to work harder and stress even more. This is not enough.

COME ON CHERYL.

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Mum was telling me how funny dad was last sunday when he was cooking.

And for the first time in my life, I wished I was there with my family.