I think the best two events after A levels so far is the gathering at manda's house and dance farewell.

Cindy's house is DANG huge, like a castle. Can get lost in it. She doesn't even know how many toilets are there. Haha.

The juniors did a great job with all the planning and effort and all that, I was really touched by their lovely handmade pillows.

Watched an episode of supernatural, I AM SO SURE A9 would not believe it. Haha. Obviously I had my ears blocked and eyes shaded by my remaining fingers not already in my ears. The video linked into a treasure-hunting game. Haha.

Germies Choops and I took FOREVER to find the first clue, not just because the house was too big, but more because we were all too afraid to venture into the darkness. Haha. The juniors hid everywhere in the house, ready to scare any passing senior.

I had so much fun. =)

I am still trying to convince my parents about post prom.

Someone tell my parents nobody goes home right away after prom.

Someone tell my parents that although it is inevitable that there would be less than decent people at post prom, I am in very good company. I will be "safe".

The playful people will surely appear at post prom, but they are at prom as well, so what's the diff?

As long as I am alert, I'll not be in "danger". In the first place, why would dangerous people target me? I don't know them they don't know me, and I am with a big bunch of people.

Even church mates go for post prom. Even if they don't go for their own post prom, they go to bars and pubs to chill out, they don't go home immediately.

How am I to convince my over-protective parents?

Hello, I am 19.

I understand where they are coming from, but they have to know that they are treating me like I'm 10.

2am is not indecent,nor is it havoc.

HAHA. Cheryl being havoc? I laugh.

I am so decent I get laughed at.

Went out the whole day again. Seems like that's all I'm doing these days.

Athena and I went to town and I got most of my stuff I need.

I'm going to ikea tomorrow.

Dear God, I'm broke and I still want to get those photo frames for the elderly and I want to be able to give James and Kelvin the presents I already have in mind.

My spending back account has zero money, I pray for enough.

----------------------

Went to manda's house for dinner and to chill. GUITAR HERO.

I want. Christmas? Heh.

I now play bass, drums, sing and guitar.

On Wii.

I am utterly confused over the things happening to me.

Nicole reminded me that God has His plan.

But hey, you try to make things easier for me, yes thank you very much, but if you don't tell me anything about it first, it'll come across as a doubt to my abilities.

I feel quilty for spending this kind of money.

Maybe cos I haven't spent like that since starting to study for A levels.

------------------

I went to City Hall and Orchard with Sybs, Somerset with Beeth and Aud, walked to Paragon to meet Nicole and then to Daryl's house to meet with beloved J2s.

The J2s thought I was wearing make up. HAHA.

Since P1, schoolmates ask me if I have eyeshadow on.

I take it as a compliment. =)

So A Levels are over, alright, but I haven't absorbed that piece of information yet.

Maybe I'm not ready to leave the life of knowing exactly what I will wear in the morning, fixed orders.

Or maybe I'm not ready declare freedom and face everything.

I'm not thinking about anything, I'm just gonna take it as it comes.

Right now, there are more important things to be done.

Some of the less important things include browning my hair, curling, highlights, getting tanner, skinner.

I'm serious, exam times are pig out times when I throw my 930pm rule over my shoulder. Daddy buys ice cream and I eat. Not that I don't want ice cream, I can never get enough. But ice cream fat. Now I need self control, discipline. OF COURSE, if it's supper WITH FRIENDS, or whatever, EXCEPTION.

---------------

There is one trait I inherited from my daddy, obviously not from mummy, and I'm so glad I have it. Cos if I'm like mummy in that aspect, no fun.

I recognise though, that in this aspect, I have to have self control, I need to realise that it might become a problem.

I'm lucky I have this trait, I'm lucky I still haven't reached my limit, if I face chances that might push it though, I won't.

So I was outright disobedient, I did something mummy said not to do. I know it would be IMPOSSIBLE not to disobey, so I didn't try.

Ok don't learn.

I will, however, start to refrain once I feel there is a problem.

Plus, whenever stuff like that happens, I'm always in good company.

I make sure.

Thinking happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

But ice cream no more. All that's left is a quarter tub of coffee and wheatgerm.

This is not exactly what I need right now.

-------------------------

If there is something wrong, and you have to ask if I'm ok, I'm not, even if I said I was.

But my pride forces me not to say so much, I'll just keep it and hope it doesn't grow so I don't explode.

If it's small, give it time and it'll probably disappear.

I'll work on it.

---------------------------

The world is consumed by people that they forget people.

And soon, people forget they have ties.

I feel like my ties with people are being stretched, weighed down by stuff sitting on the lines.

You don't have to get me.

------------------------

From now, I'll try not to do so much, try not to initiate so much, try not to be too active.

I'll be less helpful.

I'll say that I don't want to do it.

I don't want to do it.

-----------------------

Make me happier.

too many people.

"chat already then not strangers liao what."

i'm sorry even people on my msn who have been talking to me for more than 4 years are still strangers.

I had fun. Today was a lil bit longer and more energy consuming. But I had fun.

The girls decided to wear dresses to church today after watching flywheel yesterday haha. So I wore one. SURPRISE. Mine was exceedingly short and I was afraid it would fly in the wind. And cos it was low in front, I wore my sweater through most of the day. HOT.

After WLM I went home to change and back to coffeebean to read till the guys were ready to go for soccer.

Going to yishun felt like a trip to malaysia. LONG. HAHA.

But I was rewarded with cool breezes, clouds without too much sun, and VAST land. Ok not really. Patches and patches of land, which if put together, is quite a lot! Haha.

The guys played soccer while I watched but I didn't see much cos their play was affected by the waterlogged pitch.

And I got tired from standing. So I sat in the car for quite a while and read Fasting,Feasting until I saw Heather and a stroller. Which means, JONNIE MANN WAS THERE. Heh.

Of course I played with Jonnie until the big guys finished soccer.

Travelled back to S21 for dinner. And then I walked home with James. I thought I was about to die halfway up the overhead bridge. Hahaha.

John says I should bring a foldable chair, a cam, titbits and more people. Haha.

Yeah the chair a must, the cam, a should, titbits already bringing but I guess more, and people, hahaha.

I'm gonna stop here cos I'm just rambling. I'm tired.

This is the quote you want.

It is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him, and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark.

I am still not looking forward to the end of A levels.

Yeap, we all are, afterall humans.

God alone is awesome enough to hear all of me, and be there 24/7.

Although I'm a lil sad, I'm comforted that I have a friend in God.

I take all that back, and I give up. =)

Anyway, I watched Nights in Rodanthe today. And if you haven't watch it, please do.

The geoggers went today after our paper.

SUPER NICE. SUPER SUPER NICE.

Brilliant love story. Richard Gere and Diana Lane. I sigh.

Everyone in the theatre ended up in tears.





OK. The theatre was less than half full. Haha.

But it's good. =)

I LOVE your answer. =)))))

Had to resist from jumping out of my seat.

Make me scream out loud.

Now, don't disappoint.

If Singapore is an Alpha world country, having advanced producer service in accounting, advertising, finance and law, as recognised by the Globalisation and World City Study Group and Network based in Loughborough University England, then why do some people not know that Singapore is not a place in China?

Haha. Reminds me of my limerick I wrote in Sec 1 or 2.

Where's Singapore, my daughter?
It's in the middle of China
No no it's not!
Oh yes I forgot!
It's an island, surrounded by water

HAHAHA

Not bad eh, I use half rhyme eh.

By God's strength only.

-------------

You're not asking the right questions, and I'm not giving you the right answers.

A Living Example of Love

By Gloria Copeland

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Romans 5:5

Don't ever worry about not having enough love inside you. The Word says God's love is shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Ghost. God's love is in you. What you need to do is make a decision to let it flow.

Pray this prayer today.

"In Jesus' Name, I make a fresh and strong commitment today to live the life of love, to let the tenderness of God flow through me and heal the wounded hearts of those I meet.

"Father, teach me to love even when things go wrong. To be patient and kind when the children are underfoot. To overlook the spiteful words of an angry spouse. To rejoice when someone at the office gets the raise that I thought I needed. Teach me to talk in love, to lay gossip quietly aside and to take up words of grace instead.

"Lord, Your Word says that Your love is already inside me...that it has been shed abroad in my heart. So today, I resolve to remove every obstacle that would keep that love from flowing freely into the lives of others. I put resentments behind me, and I forgive all those who've done me wrong.

"In the days ahead, cause me to increase and excel and overflow with Your love. Cause me to be what this world needs most of all...a living example of love. Amen."

The Most Important Time of My Day

By Lysa TerKeurst

"... Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

Matthew 4:4

Is it really that important to have a quiet time with the Lord everyday? I mean, the Lord knows how busy my life is, so if I just toss up a few prayers and listen to a Christian song on the radio while rushing off to work, that should suffice, right?

It's easy to let the busyness of life crowd out time for prayer, Bible reading, and sitting with the Lord. There are a million things on all of our to-do lists, time is tight, and quiet moments seem few and far between. But I've learned that if I make the choice to be with the Lord first thing in the morning, my outlook on life that day and my ability to handle things seems to go so much smoother.

Also, I've had to change my mindset on having a quiet time. Spending time with the Lord in the morning doesn't end when I say "amen" and put my Bible back on the shelf. I've just invited the King of Kings to participate in my day. So, I get up from spending time with the Lord in the morning and start eagerly looking for His hand of activity in my life.

I think about the Bible verses I read that morning and look for ways to apply them to my life that very day. I watch the circumstances that come my way hour by hour and ask the Lord to constantly give me wisdom to process life in the way that would be most honoring to Him. My mindset is healthier, my attitude more positive, and my ability to extend grace to those who rub me the wrong way is increased just by setting aside some time to be with the Lord.

If you are struggling with having quiet time with the Lord each day, try these helpful ideas:

Be honest with God and admit your struggle. Ask God to give you the desire to set aside time to be with Him.

Start with just a small amount of time. Even if it is just 5 minutes at first, give this 5 minutes solely to the Lord without any other distractions. Over the next weeks and months, your desire for more time with Him will increase.

Use a version of the Bible that lends itself to study. I use the NIV Life Application Study Bible and I love it. It helps me understand the context each book was written in and gives me commentaries to understand specific verses.

Ask God for understanding as you read the Bible. When I first started reading the Bible I had a hard time, so I started praying that God would open my spiritual eyes to see the truths in a life changing way for me.

Write some of the verses that seem most applicable to your life on 3x5 cards and use them in your prayers. For example, Matthew 6:19-20 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth... But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven." So, I could use this verse in my prayer time by praying, "God, help me to know how to store up treasures in Heaven. Help me to relinquish my tight hold on my earthly possessions so I can use them to build your kingdom now. Show me how to best use that which you have blessed me with. Give me your mindset for the money I have."

Get involved in a Bible Study with friends. This will help hold you accountable to getting your study time done and will open up great discussions to deepen everyone's understanding of applying God's truths to everyday life.

Suggested Prayer:

Dear Lord, I want a more vibrant relationship with You and I know having a daily quiet time is an important part of that. Help me make this my most important priority each day, no matter how busy life is. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

You always bring me back to God.

-

You are the reason why I never want to go home alone.

You are the reason why I don't like empty weekends.

You are the reason why I fear.

You're the reason why I like A levels.

-

You are the reason why when I see the place, I only think one thing.

Drank everything I could to keep awake.

Ciaga, coffee, brand's, water.

I kept damn awake.

But now I'm tired, I need a break before 5pm tuition.

My paper ended at 11.

I've been studying since 12 plus non-stop.

TIRED.

I feel it.

I feel more confident.

Tomorrow I have to chiong econs.

How about I keep getting distracted.

Human geog.

Joke.

Haha.

I'm losing hair like my life depended on it.

I've got no inspiration today.

THERE IS A LIZARD IN MY HOUSE.

HELP.

Seven years ago, when I was eleven, my team boarded the bus back to school after getting our trophies.

My coach said he'll raise up more singles players, he's thinking about Cheryl and Charisse.

And I said, "Huh, no..." so quickly, I was embarrassed to be picked.

But then after a few weeks, when I saw Charisse training to be a singles player, I was jealous and I knew that that was what I'd always wanted.

And from then on I decided that I'll never again say no to anything, unless of course, I knew full well that I really didn't want it.

NEVER say never.

---------------------

Did I mention my family went to Otto for dinner today?

Love that place. The food's good, the wine mummy had's good, the ambience, the waiters in charge and the italian manager (LOVE HIS ACCENT).

Daddy liked that place too, so I'm guessing that won't be our last time there. =)

I labelled it "the best damn thing" in my document folder about half a year ago. =)

An msn conversation.

Cheryl: enough about me.

C: You.

C: got any birthday wishes?

Person: can I have a cliched one?

C: yep.

P: for you to smile, if not smile more!

P: HAHA

C: haha

C: is that really your wish?

P: I'm serious lah!

P: YES

C: don't waste it lah haha.

P: don't like it when you're stressed and stuff

C: omg you're making me cry haha

P: NO!

P: that was not my intention!

Aww. so nice right. haha. I smile.

Why not.

After all, you've held me before.

I'll say yes immediately.

So ask me.

People say they're supposed to taste salty, but they seem tasteless to me.

My dad says without qualifications, you can't get a job.

My mum says I should work in an office.

James says I must have more confidence in myself.

--------------------------

There is a reason why I always choose to forget.

2kg since monday. I say not bad.

Haha what a joke. I feel a bit angry, a bit lost, a bit surprised, a bit apologetic.

To be less important. On so many levels.

I take comfort in knowing that God's not like that. =)

ADD ON:

It's now about 5 minutes after I posted this. And I learnt that I have to trust more.

I packed a bit of my resource corner, that mahjong area mummy uses that I dumped everything I needed for A levels.

Put math and gp and physical geog into a nice golden reusable bag. Irony lies in that I feel as though my notes on those subjects do not deserve the gold.

And while packing, I found a letter I wrote sometime this year. Didn't manage to post it out. Yeah, to a guy. Probably my first letter to a guy in my life. Haha. If he knows that the letter was for him, he should be DAMN honoured. Haha.

To keep this post as light as possible, I cut out whatever I wrote earlier that should be where this sentence is, and put it where I feel it'll be safe. If you're my best friend, you'll be able to read my mind.

-------------------------

I am reminded, that weeks ago I told Wyn that if I don't do anything, eventually it'll all disappear.

It has. See, I told you so. Haha.

I'll worry again when it comes again. For now, I'm happy as it is.


-----------------------

I read the 5 reasons to wait and 5 reasons to date. Haha.

HAHA.

I'm laughing because I found it quite true.

To all 5 reasons to date.

I did some soul searching as it suggested but I can't see anything in me that is a factor, if you know what I'm talking about.

I have a few guesses though. If you ask me maybe I'll tell you, I'm not putting it here. It'll break my "strong" image. Haha.

Guess who took it for me? ;)

I like it cos my horrifying complexion doesn't look so bad here.

Or maybe cos it's obviously editted.

Whatever it is, here's one more just cos I like. =)

WHAT THE TOOTS I WANT TO SCREAM, MATH WAS A DISASTER THAT SWEPT THROUGH THE COHORT.

My brain is numb.

I feel like all the studying I had done was for nothing, cos math was MAD.

Like byebye A, hello U. Looks like I might have to retake A Levels again huh.

Haha. Joke of the century.

Yeah now I should move on.

God knows what He's doing, so I'm not worried.

I can move on, but I just want to have the last word.

STUPID MATH.

There. =)

I realised that the cause of so many things I wished, wanted to see that didn't come to past, is the lack of prayer.

I've learnt my lesson and I'm gonna pray harder than before.

Of course, faith without deeds, is dead, james 2:17. I'm gonna revise math, lit and the remaining geog, I'm gonna ask Jonah down again, I'm gonna do so many things I've never done in the past.

Gp down.

Geog paper 1 down.

After tomorrow, math down.
I can't wait.

And then I DON'T MIND WAITING LONGER for lit. I'm TOTALLY not looking forward to it haha.

GP was a disappointment, like what Sybs said. I think max a D? And physical geog max a C.

Quite forgivable, the first gp paper was done in a ______ state of mind.

Not quite forgivable, gp paper 2. I didn't finish AQ. And I didn't fill in the vocab for crude. WTH. The word stuck in some drawer in my brain room was PRIMITIVE. Used in context would be fine.

I just didn't open that drawer. I was like, " Starts with P. Or T. Trivial? NO. Prehistoric? NO.

I guess thats how the brain works sometimes. At least I got the "p" and "t" right. HAHA.

I hope I'm a pessimist. Then maybe my results might turn out higher than predicted. Now that's being optimistic. HAHA.

----------------------

I was walking through the MRT station today when I thought I heard," Paging for Cedric Diggory. Paging for Cedric Diggory..."

And I thought first: Why the toots are they they paging for a FICTIONAL CHARACTER?

Even if he's not a fictional character, he's dead. Heh.

--------------------

My name stamp was put to good use after the geog paper.

I used at least 5 more pieces of paper more than they gave initially (called twice for paper). The first time I raised my hand, the invigilator only wanted to give me 2 pieces. Like HUH. Geog eh. Geog can write til the cows come home one. 2 where got enough? So I told him," Eh sorry I think I need more." So he gave me 4.

Then I called again for more paper and this lady gave me 5 pieces. =D

I say man more stingy than woman.

OK unfair statement, based on my one experience.

I say man sometimes more stingy than woman.

Heh.

BACK TO THE POINT, I had no time to write my name on all pieces of paper. So I just used the stamp. I liked how I flipped every piece of paper quickly and stamped and flipped and stamped, while the invigilator waited in front of my desk. The sound the stamp made sounded good. Maybe the efficiency sounded good. Heheh.

------------------

To end this entry:

You can probably tell, I'm in a good mood, I'm ending all my parts with either a HAHA or HEH. Or HEHEH.

That's cos I left everything in the exam hall.

Heheh.

I'm gonna face every paper at a time. Soon it'll be over.

It's really exciting. Like embarking on a long distance trip.

I'm encouraged by all the smses and notes and conversations on MSN.

So I'm not exactly stressed that I haven't finished geog revisions. I can't find my plate tectonic notes. I've still got floods to cover. Mass movement and weathering to cover. And I have to go through micro and macro climate again cos I didn't absorb anything about it just now.

Geog is half common sense.

CAN ONE. =)

With God. CAN ONE.

Studied till 4am on friday. Ok. Saturday technically.

YAY my gp essays were apparently not bad, well written! I'm glad I finally didn't disappoint Zhuang-hui. FINALLY. Haha. And compre wasn't badly done either. Confidence level up. Heh.

After econs tuition, before gp, I had about 2 hours. Hit bryan's bed and slept immediately.

NIGHTMARES.

I dreamt kelvin and bryan ate my last tub of macadamia nut haagen daz for lunch!!!

I dreamt there was a new surround sound system installed in the living room. (ok this is not a nightmare hahaha)

I dreamt Zhuang-hui called me cos he came early for lesson and I ignored the vibrations my phone made and went back to sleep. HAHA.

I had so many dreams in that 2 hours that it felt like I slept for 10 hours.

Ok maybe the only big nightmare I remember was the ice cream one. HAHA.

Zhuang-hui drove me to TM. During CG time I felt like I had not met all my J2s in a damn long time. Long week it has been man.

I'm gonna be bagkeeper tomorrow at playday in church. I'm gonna sit in a corner and read geog notes like no tomorrow. Hahaha.

Oh Lord bless me.