just came back from the sec 4 chalet, going to genting tomorrow.

woohoo. i'm gonna shop like mad. rargh.

yesterday.

kelvin james and i rushed from my house to catch the 53. haha. the bus stop was the other side of the road and we saw the bus stopping in the bus stop already. the two mad guys ran over the overhead bridge and stopped the bus. crazy. i just passed them my bags and ran as well. haha. crazy.

mob was supposed to arrive at the airport at 1.05pm.

at 1 pm, we got of the bus and took a cab. haha. but we still were late. so we just went for lunch with them instead. the taxi uncle refused to go over 70kmh. rargh. said that friends were not important. man. i should have said something like i was going to miss my flight or something. haha.

followed amy jie and korkor shuks, gracie jie and uncle matt to parkway where amy jie and i shopped for a while waiting for eliel, ben low, edwin and moses to arrive and get the last minute bbq stuff we havent gotten yet and some stuff for breakfast as well.

halfway shopping, eliel called amy jie and after their conversation, she turned to me and went like," woah. haha. told eliel we were shopping and he went ' WHAT? HUH?' " haha.

oh well, we still continued to shop until they arrive. =p

made our way to the chalet and since the groceries were lighter than my bag, i let the boys carry it and myself took a few grocery bags. hoho. could see them struggling to carry it. well, i must say, my bag is indeed difficult to carry cos of the cutting. not exactly cos they were weak or anything. haha. come on man. one's a rugger, another a wushu expert.

at the chalet, put my bags down and started playing bridge with the girls. been playing with james kelvin and my brother for a few nights already. i considered myself warmed up. haha.
can see that girls play with their brains. they think about what to do and how to win. the game might be slower but more interesting. guys just anyhow whack and chiong. haha. i recall james bidding up to 6 spades. utter madness..

the food didnt arrive until 7 ( catered bbq food- all marinated and ready to go) so we only started the bbq at 7 plus 8.

the guys were working around the small pit whilst the girls slacked. first time in history. haha.

yea and i cooked a bit LAH! haha. amazing or what. =P

the fish was awesome man. haha. and so were the chicken satays. i think i ate like twice of what i normally eat at bbqs.

every guy had a specialty food they cooked. haha. quite interesting. like say sherwyn. he cooked the chicken satays well, so he just cooked the satays. and when the guys served the food to the girls, we would ask something like," this one sherwyn cook one or not?"

haha. after the bbq we toasted marshmallows, ( had like 4 bags or more altogether. woah.) and celebrated gracie's birthday.

by 11 we were all playing indian poker and other card games inside the chalet. played till 3 plus. then i suggested going down to the beach for a walk. everyone actually agreed to. hoho. on the way, the girls started to sing and then wynnie suddenly passed me his phone. haha. cos we were singing songs he had. so i held on to his phone the whole time. until like when we were about to check out. haha. wynnie didnt even ask for his phone back. hoho. maybe too despo to get the new one. =p

back to the chalet, played bridge all the way till like 6 in the morning. malcolm was like groggy so when i partnered him he kept trumping. haha. super hilarious.

nana and i decided to watch the sunrise, but when we went out, we couldnt find the sun, so we went into the air con room, decide to take a 15 min nap before going to the beach.

the 15 min nap became 3 hours.. esmond said he and wynnie went to the beach, came back after an hour and saw nana and i still sleeping. haha. sian.

had to leave the chalet by 10 30. so then we all walked to the bus stop and took bus. i slept all the way home. super shiok. haha.

wynnie wants to buy the same phone as me but in black. keep trying to tell him that the black looks super plastic. not nice. haha. bronze is nicer la.

well well.

i was planning on buying the nike day bag for a very long time already. today i called mummy in her office and asked her if i could buy it. she said i could go meet her in the office and then can go to plaza sing after, cos the bag was sold at plaza sing.

went to her gym, ran 2.5 km.

used the igallop in her gym. i think its cool and good to use. have no idea why she said it wasnt worth getting after trying it in her office. made me think the igallop was a waste of money too. man, shouldnt have listened to her.

after gym, went to sakae sushi. the first time we had dinner together. just mother and daughter.
felt awkward.

had a very quick dinner, then made our way to plaza sing. saw the bag and mum immediately gave a loud," huh? oh no."

she didnt like it, said it was a waste of time. and accused me again of buying it just for an upcoming event. in this case, she mentioned the chalet i'm going for tomorrow.

i told her that it was not about the event and said that i could use her old bag for the chalet but i still wanted to buy that one.

then she kept talking about the house renovation, how we are gonna have to clear space, the toiletries bag i bought, everything that went wrong in the past. well done man, raking up stuff from the past.

in the end, she decided to buy the bag but i refused. so we made our way home. and on the way she kept talking about how we have been very distant, how my attitude was always wrong, how i was possibly under peer pressure, how much she doesnt want me to go to ac since there will be a lot of rich man's sons in jaguars, lexuxes and mercedeses. she didnt rule out the possibility of me going to australia, but she didnt tell me. she just talked about a lot of stuff and i simply kept silent.

for the whole journey she thought i was disappointed, angry, irritated and so on. i just kept silent cos i knew that if i spoke, even very gently, she would mistake me as some evil money wasting, talking back rebel again.

now, let me tell you. i am not the least bit disappointed in getting the bag, cos i know that one day, God's going to give it to me. i'm just upset that she still assumes things of me that i have already put behind.

1. already stated that its not the event that makes me want to buy stuff. its just that sometimes, i want to buy that thing for ages, but only when i need it then do i want to buy it.

she says we have loads of toiletries bags at home and that when i bought the tea one, i was wasting money. haha, very funny. when i said i needed one, i already did research. we only have 2 at home. dad threw away the rest since they were old and dirty. and in the past, i used her toiletries bag, just that the toiletries bag wasnt made from good materials, so it leaked, and also it was mouldy. (thus dad threw it away)

of the two, one is the same as the one i used int he past. its her current one now and its not in a very clean situation. the other is not waterproof.

2. just tell me i have a chance of going to australia and we wouldnt have any problems. cos i would save up every penny for australia.

3. we had all the quarrels over sleeping bags, toiletries bags and shoe bags and all that other stuff like the japan trip, taiwan trip, tm camp..because i was the one who spoke. bryan hated the ideas more than me, but didnt speak up for what he wanted. he wanted to go to tm camp more than i did. i didnt mind going to japan. but because i spoke up for what i wanted, i get all the blame. i get blamed for wanting to spend more time with friends than with family when obviously its bryan who goes out every sunday and saturday with friends while i just stay at home.

he wants the shoebag as badly as me but doesnt want to say anything. when i finally went to buy the shoebag after everything, he was the one that asked me to buy one for him too. man, i feel used.

another reason why i want my own things is because i would know how clean they are. i wash every bag after every event. mum used the gym bag today and she expects me to use it tomorrow for the stayover too? hello, what time is there for it to dry?

what if i needed it the same time as her?

i should have spoken up in the car and stated my intentions and feelings. but i was afraid that i would again be labelled as a good for nothing money wasting girl who doesnt know the value of money and all that jazz.

i wasnt angry over anything at first and didnt even mind not buying the bag today. but her labelling me so many things, accusing me of so many thing makes me mad. i think i'm gonna rip of the head of my stress toy- merrill lynch bull.

hear me roar.

tm yesterday was almost pathetic due to the s21 thingy. my cg had a whooping total of 5 members, inclusive of cgl james and angel, who had to leave earlier for the caroling thing at s21.

asked james a lot of questions.

then pastor dave explained a bit of it to me. haha. well.

childlike faith. childlike faith.

daddy sat beside me after cg time back in the sanctuary and said my shorts were too short, so i asked him to get me a pair of what he thinks is not too short. cos all i have are "short" shorts.

justin my dictionary collected a few flowers from claire for me in the morning. he was a bit surprised. haha. cos the flowers were small and really exx. and he paid for me. and he collected it from claire, who knew who he was at first sight, but he couldnt really recall who she was.
so i said i would treat him to lunch when our team went out for celebratory lunch and movie, provided everything was less than $15.

went to s21 but before that i was in church waiting for gracie to go with me. she was in turn waiting for hannah. my brother was waiting for me and so were his friends. so all the guys chanted," cheryl hoe cheryl hoe..." trying to make me move out of the sanctuary. for a moment i felt famous and wanted. haha. what rubbish la.

walked to s21 finally and on the way passed jo's house. met jo and her doggies and i proudly called them by name. haha. glowie is still the largest. jo's bias! haha.

at s21, i couldnt really find anything to eat so i didnt buy anything. just took a mouthful from everyone. and daniel loke actually teased me about the watermelon thing. gracie! told everyone la! man.

ruru won top prize in the lucky draw! my gosh. she won 3 lucky draws in a row. so lucky.

the prize was a bike that was way too small for her. haha. so she gave it to kristopher teo. he was so happy! haha.

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today. woke up late for church and so i went to church just in time for prayer.

after that, esmond, edwin, justin, gracie and i SQUEEZED into esmond's car and we drove to the mrt station. haha. daddy drove all the way to give me money cos i had forgotten to bring some and i was supposed to buy justin lunch! rargh.

we went to ps to eat and met wen zhe and brian there. stupid dictionary suggested carls jr. madness la! trying to get all he can from me. eventually we ate at bk. haha.

at the cashier, dictionary was standing next to me and he ordered a meal. then the cashier asked if we wanted to upsize.

i said no and he said yes simultaneously. then the poor cashier looked super confused. haha.

so i looked at justin and he looked at me and he gave me this stupid grin. craps. i had no choice but say yes.

after that we made our way to vivocity. man its really huge. haha. really. met malcolm there and we decided to watch nightmare before christmas. haha. bad decision. rargh!

the show was alright at first. there was a deeper meaning that was very obvious. not sure if the hwa chong minds grasped it. haha. but afterward it got too draggy.

overall, there's no climax, barely a resolution and hardly any meaning. i walked out laughing at our decision to watch it. haha.

gracie esmond and justin took a bus back so i had to follow brian edwin malcolm and wen zhe back by mrt.

i realised that there's a very distinct line between the 'rich' and the 'poor'. after today's outing, i 'know' how to tell the difference between the classes.

these guys i went out with today were very different from the normal people i hang out with.

i think if i stayed around them longer i would become a genius.

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my gosh. i realised my post is almost rubbish. i just touched lightly on points but didnt elaborate. maybe i just dont know how to. in this case.

oh and malcolm lives nearby. i hope i can like bump into him again. his hair facinates me. haha.
nothing else. dont get the wrong idea.

went to the indoor stadium to watch the singapore slingers vs the new zealand breakers.

mummy wanted to leave halfway cos she was afraid the more she watch, the slingers would lose.

haha. my first ever ball game. i think its cool and look forward to more!

my gosh! i love number 23. short, big hair but he plays better then all the mighty tall people. and the other player i like is 35. looks like will smith. haha. and he's like some silent killer.

woohoo! oh did i mention there was only ONE singaporean in the team? the rest are imported.

haha! next day, elisha, yi min, jeremy and clement came to my house and they watched the same game. i cant remember who said he saw me on tv! haha.

------------------

going out with my hwa chong team on sunday to celebrate our victory in the captains ball's... lucky draw. haha. oh well, at least we use brains to win something. haha. hwa chong's minds not wasted. got 4th overall so no prize. oh wells..

i am back from camp people! And i cant wait to tell y'all about it.

i didnt expect anything from camp, so i wasnt really excited about going. yea. then at the last hour before camp i was still watching tv at home. haha. but then josh called and asked how i was going. he kinda assumed i would go by car. thats what everyone would assume of me. but yea, i was planning to cab there anyway. haha. so then i didnt really have any choice, i went by cab with josh and we actually reached on time.

oh then when we left the cab ( it dropped us off in full view of everyone), amy jie, daddy, james, jon, ivan goh and other were like shrieking dang loud. haha. like," ahhh, cheryl! joshua! you all.... scandalous eh!" that kind of stuff. super hilarious la! haha. we cabbed together cos our houses were relatively near and the campsite wasnt near. yup. thats all. haha.

so then after all the commotion, i finally registered and daddy walked me up to my bunk. haha. he had to carry my bag up 4 levels of course. exactly like 2 years ago.

along the way, we talked about packing our bags of camp as stuff. and duh daddy obviously overpacked la. haha. he always does. so he said if i needed to borrow shirts, i could borrow from him since he brought like dunno how many extras. haha.

day one was quite boring. briefing and ice breakers. man i was so sian i was tempted to go home.
at night after all the icebreakers and dinner, we had our first worship and word. it was hard to let go and worship properly since i wanted to go home. but then the message was great. haha. after that i didnt want to go home anymore. i decided to take a day at a time and let God lead me.

Pastor dave reardon talked about selling out fully for God, being bold and greatness. to be BIG. its amazing how i have heard all these somewhere before but never really understood what it all really meant. i did that night and i was so so refreshed.

pastor dave is one gifted speaker whom can actually capture the attention of even the most hyperactive kid. haha.
really interesting and cool. and then at the end he totally changed my mindset on how i should look at camp. yea. i should have gone with an expectant heart. so then i decided to ask God a few questions and for some stuff and waited for replies. i asked for peace, joy, to walk away from past tribulations and all.

slept in between eelaine and gracie. haha. gracie's super funny la.

day 2.

played this outdoor game in the morning after breakfast. we had groups then we were supposed to walk around the area outside the school to stations and play games to earn items. the items would help us in the final warfare game at the end. we had about an hour or so to walk around collect the items.

each station had 3 difficulty levels. the higher the difficulty level, the better items. we could choose the level we wanted to do and can do all 3, but would get the better reward between the 3 levels only. not rewards from all 3 levels. yup. then at the first station, there was this man standing around. we were at the void deck of one of the HDBs around the school.

when we were about to leave the station, i heard this loud sickening thud behind me and immediately felt the same sensation as in thailand during mob, when lynn our translator kept fainting. i still dunno what i felt but anyway, i turned around and that man had actually fallen flat backwards. maybe, i'm just over-sensitive, i dunno. maybe i was just scared. i cant possibly be shocked. cos i wasnt shocked in mob. or maybe i was, since this is singapore. oh whatever la.

pastor dave was there and he went to help the man. he squatted beside the man and asked how he could help and whether he could sit up. the man was like flagging his arms as if in some spiritual attack.

after a while, the man was fine and he sat up. then i saw that there was a pool of blood behind him. his head was bleeding. pastor dave then asked one person to call an ambulance. moses did. but then the man could just sit up like he just woke up and smile. yea and he kept saying he was fine and didnt need an ambulance. so pastor dave brought him home (upstairs) and we walked on to the next station. for the whole day from then i was stuck to the sound and image i had experienced. couldnt get it out of my head. that whole experience was so wierd. that man could sit up and smile and become normal like nothing happened.

the rest of the stations were fine. we had to walk the " tian1 tang2 lu4"- the pebble pavement for old people to do self foot reflexology- to unlock locks ( by luck we completed in record time since there was a whole pile of similar keys to try the locks) , do charades from across the junction with ongoing traffic ( i think the motorists thought kenneth and i were nuts), use sour power in our mouths to write a verse in a tray of salt ( i just sat down beside the tray to shake it after every turn and made sure the words were clear and eliel -station master- saw it. haha. ultimate slacker. other stuff we had to do i forgot. whoops.

i especially liked the charades one. it tested my acting skills and kenneth was so cute acting with me. i shall repeat the important point. kenneth was so darn cute! he makes everyone laugh like mad! haha.

ok. the next part of the game was the warfare in school. every team had a boundary and we had collected stuff from the 1st part of the game which could help the second.

tealights- points. more=good.
plastic bags- those used to make water bombs. used for that purpose.
cardboard- deflecting water bombs
poncho- ultimate deflector. the person wearing it is like " immortal", cannot 'die' from being hit by bombs.

tealights were placed anywhere in the boundary. we could send attackers to other boundaries with bombs. we would have to declare war, wait one minute and attack. bomb a person inside to lessen defenders and get in the boundary to collect tealights without being tagged by defenders. tagged means die.

we defended ours the whole time. since we had lack of manpower we only attacked twice. and gotten loads from it. edwin and josh took turns to wear the poncho and i must say they were awesome at defending man! never saw them look so pro before. our defend system was quite powerful i must say. haha. we actually put some tealights on the ground, cover with cardboard, pile shoes secretly filled with tealights and slippers on as well, and boy did other teams struggle to get tealights.

oh yea. we attacked 2 groups at the same time. the boys attacked one, 3 girls including me attacked the sec 1 group. haha. and josh was left to defend. we thought no one would come cos they might think we had the CARD, which could hold play for 4 minutes.

but still they came and so the girls quickly finished play and went back to help josh. super pro la josh! defended by himself.

that day's messages were about being self conscious, having self control, confirmation, God's voice and praise. man were they good. never thought there were so many ways to praise God. even noise counts! haha.

yada actually means to raise your hand
hilare- to laugh
tahila- to sing

all these are hebrew and are found in the Bible. how cool is that! haha.

praise is actually a weapon. man when i'm in trouble next time, i'm gonna just sing.

a bit of tears during worship. i think it was really cool. haha. we didnt have like a whole night of sobbing and slain people everywhere. instead we jumped and praised and it was a totally different experience. praise party! synergiz and all that planetshakers hillsongs stuff cant compare man. just cant. i actually walked away from my past and all the horrible images i saw. that was a prayer answered by God.

i even decided to really pray and perservere for beefy. God made me great and i just cant do nothing. so i also decided to be bold and thick skinned and invite my clique down to captainsball again, even though i did already and most didnt even reply. even if they replied cant, i invited them again.

that night after supper i talked to amy jie and daddy about what happened in the day ( that man who fell and knocked his head). and they prayed for me. they told me a few things i was quite shocked to hear, cos i didnt expect myself to actually...

its quite difficult to comprehend and believe. but i will wait for confirmation. for now i will just put it on the shelf. just like pastor dave has taught.

daddy walked me up after that from the canteen to the bunks and lent me one of his shirts. i asked for a mega huge one to sleep in cos i borrowed one from bryan and had worn that already. whoops.

slept super well. much better than the first night.

day 3.

captainsball outreach. woohoo!

esmond asked me to join his team before camp. so i did. cos i thought his team would be strong.

here's a breakdown..

esmond- captain. hwa chong. used to be gymnast. small but quick.

edwin- mega tall. hwa chong. wushu.

justin ( my chinese dictionary) - hwa chong canoeist. previous shuttler.

malcolm- like mega mega tall. hwa chong. i think canoeist.

bryan- hwa chong athelete.

wen- something ( sorry. i cant remember chinese names well) - hwa chong athelete.

gracie- nanyang netball vice pres.

me- nobody.

yeap. my team consist of 6 guys from hwa chong and cos there is a minumun of 2 girls on court at all times, 2 girls. total of 8 max people.

haha. guess whats the team's name.

wait for it..

small small boys.

haha! like so the opposite! all the guys were mega tall except esmond but he's still taller than me! haha.

anyway, we played quite well. winning everything. there were teams from acjc, innova, st.andrews, hwa chong (us), RI, nanyang, sports school.. there was even a player from team singapore basketball. man was he pro.

the funniest match was against acjc. crap their team scared me the most la. during the match i was literally swept of my feet by this guy from the opposite team. unfortunately he wasnt very good looking! haha. and it was because he knocked into me. not as if i fell in love or something. oh well, too bad.

haha. anyway, he knocked into me real hard and i almost flew a few metres if not for the fact that he did quick thinking and grabbed me and held on to me really tight immediately. so i just swung about half a round around him. thats all. yay. haha. if i fell i would probably have cried. brick floor man!

oh then in the second half, i was standing about 5 metres in front of our receiver and there was another opponent( different guy) behind me ( in front of our receiver to deflect balls). the plan was that if we got possesion at the other end, they could throw long to me and i could just throw to out receiver. that was what happened. however, when i caught the ball and swung around 180 degress to face our receiver, the acjc guy had actually moved directly behind me. then he went," BOO!"

what the crap man. i was so shocked so hard i screamed super loud. haha. then he retreated and so i shot to our receiver and scored. haha. what kind of freakin' tactic was that? scare-the-opponent's-girl-so-that-she-might-drop-the-ball techtique? rargh. everyone laughed la.

we still won anyway. hah. our defender was the height of their receiver standing on the chair. haha!

then it started to rain and we moved to the hall. it all went downhill. we lost every match and came in 4th overall. crap no prize. but we placed our "bet" on the winning team ( small side game where teams could guess the winning team. at the end, if there were more than 1 team who guessed correctly, there would a lucky draw. the prize was worth more than 3rd prize of $50 pasta mania vouchers - it was 4 pairs of movie tickets to see anything any gv cinema anytime, just enough, 8 people) and we had a quarter chance of winning it. we did win it. haha. so i count ourselves as having won the second and a half prize and 4th as well. it was so lucky! haha.

we're going out together to watch something. hopefully this weekend.

josh's group - the RI team won 2nd. christina and penelope were in their group. yay man! super pro! haha. oh yea. since there were 6 girls and 3 sec 4 teams, every girl had to play. angel and eelaine were in sherwyn's team. haha. jeanne and i helped sherwyn decide the team name. MOJOJOJO. haha! sherwyn rejected 'powerpuff girls' and 'small small girls'. haha.

that night was gala night. we had earned points throughout camp with could be redeemed as "bart" money. our team had the third highest amount earnt though we had the fewest boys.

the auction went crazy. we auctioned like mad and at the last auction, nicole and i joint alliance to beat pastor dave reardon and the camp comm in a one-on-one bidding session. uber cool. since no other team had more money they sat out.

evenutally we won. yup.

then at night we had the most awesome sermon. about merging our dreams into 1, perserverance, revealing purposes and all. it may sound crazy but you gotta hear the actual sermon to understand.

i turned back once and saw that josh's friends from RI were still there and i was so happy.

then later during response i actually walked to the front when i had no intention to. so i just stood there like some idiot waiting for something to happen. i think the whole room actually walked up front.

then i saw people being prayed for and being slain. it was really cool. then uncle shukun walked pass the people in front of me and stood by me. he then prayed for me. i thought that was cool. like he had some wierd calling to choose to pray for me, and not the people in front of me.

anyway, he did but i didnt really expect anything though i asked the Holy Spirit to fill me. i was almost disappointed until at the end, i felt like super hot when i leaned forward and his hand touched my forehead. the heat spread from my head to the back of my shoulders and i knew the Holy Spirit was at work. yea so i cried a little..

then uncle shuks moved on. i asked God for another prayer and true enough, Gracie jie came to pray for me. this time, i sobbed uncontrollably and i couldnt really stand up. then i fell on the floor and my crying stopped. God gave me two words," Joshua's friends." i just laid there very silently and was almost positive God was speaking to me. couldnt possibly be i speaking to myself.

i had absolutely no idea who were they but i knew i had to pray for them. like God had put a burden on my heart or something. but i wasnt very sure. so i didnt really pray for them.

after that we all prayed together for pastor dave and i thought it was really cool.

then we had this wierdo game at midnight. we were blindfolded and taken to a strange place. we were given a very badly drawn map and were tasked to find our way back. we did and then cos i was wearing the last piece of clothing i had, and i was soaking wet, i decided to bathe and just wear daddy's clothes to sleep and home the next day.

last day. day 4.

pastor dave mann gave the sermon. how to lead an extraordinary life and all.

then we had some secret game at lunch. where there were pails and objects below. the aim is to shout out the names of the objects in record time. under one of the pails was edmund's head. he was actually wedged between two tables and the gap was covered by cloth. super hilarious to see the reaction of the girls. haha. each group sent one person. my gosh when the reps held up the pail with edmunds head below, the whole yf roared with laughter. hilare!

then later there was testimony sharing. bryan shared for the first time! woohoo! haha. so happy. i was shocked too. then he shared how we cancelled our japan trip and all and could come for camp.

then a while later i decided to share how mummy and i had a communication problem cos she thought i had an attitude problem, willing to rather stay in singapore with friends for camp then go to japan with the family. then i shared how i had walked away from the past tribulations and all and how i received peace. and how amy jie and all my jies had encouraged me to perservere.
yea. then i said i would go home and say i love my mummy. well i already did. haha.

there were many testimonies and i was very touched that i teared at some.

josh shared how his friends stayed on but how one said that he was more certain he would never be a christian. for a while i felt very bad. but i was glad cos i knew that one day that very particular friend would be saved and maybe be even stronger than a "normal" person's faith. maybe he'll grow up to be an extraordinary man. i dunno.

after the sharing was camp clean up. my team and 2 other teams had to clear the bunks and move the tables and chairs back. i hurt my finger when i pulled out a chair from a stack. super painful. haha. then cos there were not enough chairs we went to the seminar room to get more.
melissa and i were carrying 4 chairs together. then daddy saw us and went like," daughter, daughter. put that down." haha. then he singlehandedly carried it. woohoo. my daddy is my daddy!

yea then i followed the coach back to church and help move some stuff. then i almost went for dinner with the whole group of camp comm people but then i decided i wasnt hungry so i went home.

throughout the whole camp, i saw korkor and korkor saw me. but we chose to ignore each other. until the 3rd day, i decided to ask him why he was dao-ing me. then he said i dao him first and all. haha. so then we made up and he went back to normal. actually, that was quite true to a certain extent. haha. a lot of misunderstanding. at the beginning of camp i was too distracted to see he was trying to interact with me or something like that la. then after we made up, everytime we met each other we were trying to either trip each other, knock or punch or whatever la. haha. thats was quite funny.

at church, korkor tried cheese crackers for the first time. before that he said he didnt like cheese but after that he was addicted to them. haha. so funny.

i think this camp was so much different from other camps and i believe it actually is going to impact many lives. not the one week high, but the long term high. God works wonders. He rocks!

a lot have happened in just a few weeks and i dont know where to start.

ok, i am supposed to be at church now but i am like half an hour late. so i decided not to.

first. my family was supposed to fly to japan today but it got cancelled cos i had too many things going on and what more tm camp is coming!! haha. we've been to japan anyway and tis not yet the season for skiing. so no point. the formula one race track is not open too. yeap.

mummy was angry with me for a while. she thought i had an attitude problem and was too good for the family. haha. cos i'd rather spend time with my friends and go to church rather than japan with the family. eh well, bryan didnt want to go either and he hated the idea more than me. just that i was the first to voice my opinions. =p

there was the ac audition, the alternative arts audition and lots more.

i passed the ac one, and didnt even audition for the alternative arts one but somehow the director helmi saw what he "wanted" in me..

saw chris at the ac audition and i was so super happy! haha. she brought along a few acsi guys and they were quite friendly. actually everyone there was friendly. changed my opinion on a lot of things.

kester and tim were rather generous, buying food for us and raymus made me go through my script with him so that he could help me improve on it.

oh, at the alternative arts 'audition', i saw this senior from PL. not sure though if she recognises me. there were a few more "hot" guys watching us - the ensemble but i didnt notice them until claire told me a few days later. haha. thats why i put hot in inverted commas.

claire and lilin kept saying i was so innocent cos i haven't kissed anyone yet or had a boyfriend yet. haha. but i thought i was just average. this all started when 3 of us and christian went for dinner together. christian brought her boyfriend along and for the whole duration, we saw many things we shouldnt have. the all the talk about kissing and boys started. haha. well, i am proud i haven had a single boyfriend yet though. haha. i want my first boyfriend to be the one i am going to marry. yup.

oh yea. my holidays have miraculously freed up and this is a sure sign of God's wonders. from mor than 3 commitments to nothing. haha!

at the last alt arts rehearsal, helmi announced the production is going to be postponed to next year and there would be no more rehearsals in december. so then that day we did some light stuff. not the usual hardcore stuff.

we were divided into 2 groups and did a skit each. in mine, joel was a doctor on a first date and he had accidentally split his pants. his date was played by hweeying. mark played a waiter and steph played his ex who happened to be a waitress there was well. wai and i played customers from another table.

joel didnt know he split his pants and went he went to the restroom, the waiter mark told him on his way back to his seat. so mark was ordered to cover him. haha. then they followed each other closely around when joel was away from his seat. haha. his ex, steph realised his problem and tried many ways to get him off his seat. haha. and then i choked halfway, as a doctor, joel was supposed to help me. so then when he tried to make me spit out what i had choked on, mark was standing behind very closely and so everyone thought they were gay. his first date then left disgusted. haha. the whole thing went something like that. super hilarious!

oh then we played some situational game. where were were numbered, helmi called out 2 numbers and we had to do this conflict scene immediately. the whole game was damn funny!! haha. all the scandals and stuff...yeap. i want to continue doing this production. it would be a waste if i just left like that. but i am not sure if i can commit til next year.

-----------------------

prom was yesterday and boy was it terrible.

not the programme but what i looked like. my hair was overdone and super stiff, my makeup was so thick and it made my eyes look super small. rargh. haha. oh and beefy won the top prize. some creative mp3 player. and michelle was like mad! haha. she kept rambling about it the whole day.. it was quite entertaining. haha.

everyone looked nice but me. argh!! i looked freaking ugly!

liyun was our class cambridge rep. she was super hilarious during the talent round. she told this story which included all the stuff we had learnt in school. lit, geog, chem, physics....

sophil won miss photogenic, and jeanne won miss cambridge!!!!

haha. so proud of jeanne. got something to say in cg time!!! wheee!

now i'm so free i can help out drama in church again!

o levels are over and i am so happy!

but i have no time to blog now.

shall find more time you tell y'all everything later! wait for it! =)

i am so freakin' pissed with bryan hoe huisheng.

if there's any guy that can boil my blood, it is he.

man i dont understand why guys are like that. or rather, i dont understand why my brother is like that.

he plays the computer the whole day, not exaggerating. from the moment he steps foot into the house, his mind is on the comp. no matter how important my work on the comp is, his games are still priority. he doesnt listen to anything i say, but i have to obey his," i want to use the comp" command.

only when my parents are reaching home then does he stop.

one of the many examples is today.

i tell him that i want to use the comp to type some stuff for 5 minutes, print it and go. after a while do i get the answer i want," ok, ok. very fast, i kill myself halfway then stop the game."

fine. so i go to the sofa in the living room and get some shut eye, waiting for him to " kill himself halfway". i'm tired you know.

after who-knows-how-long, i hear my parents open the door and imediately my brother changes the screen. i have slept for close to what, half an hour?what happened to the "very fast"

hello, i have o level! i have work to do, even if you are not revising for the exams going on, you should not be playing the comp! i am so angry that he gets away with it everytime.

i planned to do more work after finish printing my work on the comp but now i guess its a bit too late.

HOW MEAN CAN HE GET?

and when i tell him how inconsiderate he is, he gives me some crap excuse like," you want me to wake you up arh?"

yea yea he's a smart ass and can get good grades even if he watches television the whole day. BUT NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE HIM!

I HAVE TO STUDY. YEA< ITS TRUE.

sometimes i am in awe. i simply dont get how a younger sibling can make the older one cry. i dont understand how come there is no respect for the older sibling. and i dont understand why i was so kind to actually spend so much money on his birthday present. i am determined to return it tmr. he doesnt deserve it at all.

if the 40 days of community did not teach us how to love i would have already smashed glass and taken my revenge.

what i learnt about love today is not being applied in my life.

i am so freakin' pissed my parents dont know how to help either. or maybe they are used to it already.

how can i say i really love my brother?

if i die from breathing difficulties or heart attack or anything induced by intense anger, serious frustration or whatever else, this is to the police:

my brother did it.

from now on even if no one talks to me or sits beside me, i will have peace in my heart.

its study study study.

minimum of 5 hours a day excluding school.

is that too little?

it sounds too little.

7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points
7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points
7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points
7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points 7 points

not a dream. just have to face reality now and start cracking.
-------------------

actually i respect those people with eating problems. like anorexia, cos it actually shows that they have some sort of disipline to stick with their goal and routine.

dont worry i am not anorexic. yet. i still love eating and i have no disipline to stop eating junk food whatsoever.

no time to lose, off to study!

i think you're a suitable candidate! thats why i voted you and not because of whether you wanted to be or not (:

- a bystander/voter's point of view.

its amazing what God has done in my life and its only after calamities that i see the whole plan to build me up.

i thank God that even though my clique and i had such a long 'heated' discussion, we managed to clear up most of the air between us and knock down that wall.

i was so upset that no one dared to tell me anything before and that i had to stand alone. but nevertheless, i'm willing to put all the differences aside and start again. tmr, i'm gonna walk into class with a smile and hopefully i wont feel too wierd.

i was quite upset that all this while i have actually been seeing my clique talking about me behind my back and stuff.

so then today when i saw that again, i told them that they were being unfair. the blame game then began. but soon after everything was over. and i gave michelle my position as my class' miss cambridge representative after 'winning' yesterday. anyway michelle wants it and apparently my class was 'forced' into voting for me since they 'saw' that i 'wanted' it.

i told my clique that that was totally rubbish. i told them that i actually thought of of it the day before.

but, in fact i had no intention to be miss cambridge in the very first place. i know that i would definitely be very busy with the committee but i just wanted to see who the class prefered better. in the end, joanne told me that the class could 'see' that i 'wanted' to be miss cambridge very much and by my actions, was actually 'forcing' them to vote for me.

i thought that was rubbish. if you have someone you want to vote for, you wouldnt vote for another totally different person since you saw that different person 'wanted it very much'.
then joanne said that since the class didnt know who to vote for and i appeared to 'want' it a lot, they voted for me. absolute rubbish. it doesnt even make enough sense, since the class was not voting for the first time and all.

also, i was upset that they actually put words into my mouth by saying i complained about stuff like being too stressed. i know that i have been feeling stressed before but i had
NEVER said it out loud to another person, since there was no one i can actually tell in school. makes sense? duh.

they said that i should have opened up but hey, only when i opened up did they say everything they thought..

in the end i had no time to really explain myself but it doesnt really matter. even if i was still wrong in their eyes, i dont really care anymore.

all i can ask is, what caused this change in me in the first place?

what happened that made me distance myself from them?

have they ever wondered that i changed so much maybe because of their actions?

apparently not.

i admit that i am partly to be blamed but i also want them to really understand my point of view.

---------------

i missed chem cos i was feeling breathless and faint.

them after chem i went back to the hall. i thought everything was fine already. like everything cleared and all.

then joanne came to sit with me. and i thought ," how nice, you know, after we have a discussion, to come and comfort me and all that. thats what real friends do."

then she said all the get back together stuff i thought could make me cry. but after that she ended with," so sometimes you must understand that....blah blah...ok?" and it became my fault again. she got the last word.

roargh.

nevermind.

oh then during the second break i had breathing difficulties again. zoey came to ask me if i were ok and i said yes. so after that no one came up to me again.

- whats over is over and hopefully we can all start anew. i hope that there would not be any more whispering. i think its very unfair toward me. want to talk about me, say it to my face. get both sides of the story before anything is said.

so what am i?

for my whole life i have been asked many times whether or not i am a foreigner.

so for all those who do not know me that well, let me tell you, that i am a 100% singaporean.

no, not a japanese or korean or chinese-from china.

haha. yesterday as i was taking taxi home from school ( i was really really tired) the taxi driver asked me if i were a chinese national after i spoke two lines to him in chinese!! is that i compliment or what? my chinese is not that bad eh! who said i sucked?

hey all those in school, especially those from my class like ZOEY!! haha, read this and try to stop asking me to pronounce those simple chinese words that sometimes, note, only sometimes, pose as a challenge to me.

if you say a line and i repeat, i can speak rather fluently, but if you dont say it and ask me to read it like that by myself, then sometimes i dont sound that correct. i have no idea why like that.

anyway, back to my point.

that taxi uncle was really friendly and we chatted the whole journey. then i shared how when i was in primary 1, i went to thailand and stayed in a beach resort. then one day i was picking flowers by the beach with a guy when this japanese couple passed by, then came up to me and bowed.

woah! i got a shock, kept quiet and walked on. crap man, now that i think of it, the couple must have thought i was very impolite. maybe i should have just bowed back or something. haha.

oh then one or two years or so back, a friend came back from studying overseas and commented i look like a jap or korean singer/star. thank you thank you. haha.

i wonder what would happen if i dressed like a tourist and went to some shop in town to buy clothes or something. then try to buy it without speaking, just body language. would they really think i were a foreigner and jack up the price? haha.

and if i were to pay for something and pretended that i was not famliar with the currency, and let then take the money by themselves when i show them what i have, would they take the right amount?

I GOT CHEATED!!!

argh, well, i knew i was getting cheated but yet i still stood there like a fool and let them take my money. only an ultimate dumb-asses like me get fooled like this. let me tell you what happened.

i was on my way to heartland mall kovan. i have to take an mrt so that day i walked to the station.

as i was walking up the stairs i saw a group of indian girls sitting on the railings, some were asking for donations.

i walked up the stairs and tried not to make eye contact. but unfortunately the group sorta like made a semi circle and surrounded me, and one of them started talking super fast, all i knew was that they wanted the money to help sick children and one ticket was $2. the talking girl held up this file with some certificate lookalike. like so obviously it was fake. the print was all blur and smudged. the whole thing didnt even look real la.

i said i had no small change. then another girl went," oh dont worry we have.. i have i have."

huh?

the money they got were put into folders. not even like tin cans where the money cannot be taken out again.

i didnt want to donate but i still took out my wallet and got a five dollar note out.

then. then. the indian girl started frowning, acting all pitiful, and told me to donate $4 to help poor, chronically ill children. " just $2 more, to help the sick children..."

i refused, saying that i needed the money as well.

immediately her attitude changed. she rolled her eyes and she went," oh ok, thankyou bye." then she walked away.

huh? urgh.

what rubbish. then i just walked to the escalator. i passed a construction worker and then i heard very loudly," eh uncle, got cigarette?"

oh my gosh. shock.

i looked at the ticket and i saw that they didnt even state the organisation name. just mkac- a friend in deed.

what the toot is mkac?

then at the corner of the ticket were two vouchers to tear out. one was some 10% discount when you eat at sapphire cuisine. ok, well, somewhat believable, maybe there was a resturant like that.

guess what. the next one sold SERANGOON AIR!

ahhhhh!!!!

stupid!!!

i couldnt believe my eyes.

enough said about this.

sighs-

all the while i knew i was being cheated and yet i stood there and let them take my money.

well, maybe i was afraid of what they might have done to me if i refused. can you imagine, i said i needed the money so can only give $2 and her face went so black already. what if i didnt donate anything? so many of them can easily kill one me.

these kinda things happen to me when i'm out alone. which is why i hate going out by myself.

oh, there was this once when i was walking up the hill from church. and this group of bengs with dyed hair and slippers were walking the opposite direction. they were walking in the middle of the road andi just looked down, continued to walk on.

then the group walked closer to me. and one stopped and said," ello!" and waved.

yikes.

i just fastened my paced.

from then on i try to get my brother to send me home after church every week..

unfortunately he hasnt learnt how to be a gentleman yet. sometimes he leaves me on my own to go out with his friends for dinner. and stuff.

oh well.

on those days i try find someone to walk with through the alleys. oh and sometimes i just try to get another person to make my brother send me home. my brother listens to other people but not me.

if i say lets go he would go," five minutes five minutes.. ok ok three."

then if i get someone like nicole or amy jie or any other jies to get him he would respond immediately.

i'm kinda disappointed. haha. and i bet no one would believe me when i say i dont really have good friends.

well, its somewhat true. i define a good friend as one who would understand my feelings, be honest with me, know what i would want and you know, have that 'telepathy' thing. and a true friend is willing to go through tough times with you. also, a friend is willing to share her feelings.

i realised that in upper sec, i have NO really good friends. not that i dont have friends, but no one in my class really connects with me. yea i have my clique, but somehow we dont really "click". ever since joanne left for shanghai, no one has been honest with me, telling me what she thinks about me.

i really miss life in a1 class in lower sec, however, it was only yesterday that i actually regretted not quitting table tennis earlier to concentrate on my studies. then i could be in a different class. i'm starting to be tired of the people in mine. yesterday was really the first time i was angry at myself for not working harder in sec 2.

its really wierd how some people can keep her ideas from you until the last minute although the matter concerns you. i got quite angry today in school but i kept it to myself.

my clique decided last week to come to my house to watch a movie. so to be a good host, i went to the supermarket and bought tons of food from cheese sausages to wor ties, the same as the kind they sell in school. i bought sesame dumplings, drinks and everything, i think my dad almost went broke. haha. nah, kidding.

i went to school today, happy that it was the second last day of prelims. however, when i reached the classroom, and sat down, i asked rachel, " so what time are you all planning to come?" or something to that effect. rachel just blankly answered," oh we are going to beefy's house, cos you and jo have chinese. so by the time you all come we would have finished the show."

huh? i then asked," so means i not going lah?"

rachel said," yah."

yah. yah? what is this?

then to hide my embarassment i replied," oh ok lor, then you all go la." as if just deciding that they go by themselves, like they haven't already decided.

if it were me, i would have been willing to wait for a friend at home before watching the show or even wait in the classroom first, even though it were a 2 hour paper.

if it were me, i would be GLAD to wait for a friend, and then enjoy her company.

i guess i'm not that important huh.

actually, all these are small matters, what i'm pissed about is that every single one of them lacked basic courtesy to even tell me that they were not coming, even though they obviously made the decision the day before.

i was quite upset that i sat for my paper and halfway, i was distracted by my thoughts. i thought of how little i meant to them, how 'thoughtful' they were. and obviously, they could have fun without feeling guilty.

i'm actually speechless at their actions although i know that their characters are like that. i should have gotten used to it. but i dunno what happened.

i'm speechless i actually bother. if i were still in a1 class, all these wouldnt matter. simply because, the people would not treat you like dirt or as if you were invisible.

i learnt how to be invincible when i came to b1 class, i stopped talking so much ever since sec 3.

oh well, life goes on and tomorrow, i have to continue pretending.

oh wait, i dont really have to, cos i'm invincible.

yesterday's event was the one i said i wouldnt go to. but i did. and i am so glad i did. too bad jeanne YEO.. fellow cg member. =p JEANNE you missed loads! haha! you really should have came. really.

alright. i had no tuition. and i was so frickin' glad to be able to sleep in till past 8am for once. mummy woke me up to go see uncle james. argh!

uncle james is the person i go to to see if i need to wear specs or not. he's the boss. and my family doesnt go anywhere else to get glasses. he say yes means yes must wear, no means no need LAH.

luckily for me, my eyesight is good enough not to wear specs, meaning i can get a pair of sunglasses to replace the PRECIOUS ones i lost on one of korea's ski slopes. mummy promised.


well, actually, i've been wanting to wear glasses. haha. you must think i'm crazy. but NO. haha. and i DO know what it feels like to wear them. i've used glasses since primary 1, but stopped in like p5 when my eyesight improved.

if uncle james said i needed to wear glasses, then no more shades!

anyway, after that, mummy, daddy and i went to have a quick lunch before sending me to the school for the captain's ball competition! clarice came i am so happy. haha! oh and i met mr kim. he asked me why i was walking around so frantically. haha! i was actually looking for the toilet LAH!

this year's captains ball competition was held in prebyterian high school. and the team i was in consisted of all the sec 4s. unfortunately, we had 12 players and had to split 2 teams with one player short each. but, heheh. here's the happy part.

we were 1 team, with 2 team names. meaning we had twice the chances of winning big time! woo-ha! just rotate players, with some overlapping, and voila! perfect combo!

so there we were, in the sec4 to jc 2 category. before we even started, i thought we stood no chance. come on man, we were the youngest group and our average height was about half a head shorter than theirs. and jcs like innova sent in more than 3 teams of superb players please. acjc also had a few teams i think. i cant remember any jcs else cos there were too many people in blue innova shirts. the other teams had no standard shirts.

oh yea. and the jc teams all had emergent guys. like a head taller than the rest kind. there were a few i was tempted to ask for their ICs. i mean like, they look 20 or something. next time, categories should go according to height.

yup. my point is, we were youngest, had less experience and whatever else needed to win a game. the first match was against jc2s and i am proud to say WE WON! maybe because the other team underestimated us? haha. so they didnt give their best? i dunno..

oh i forgot to say who was in this 12 man team.

ELIEL- team captain and ACS rugger. a rugger is a rugger. enough said.
SETH- team captain and VS boys brigade scout. ( do you call it scout? oh dont underestimate seth. he beat james JI in pull ups and other fitness stuff. James is our cg leader, twin of Jon Ji and both equally giant.)

SHERWYN- twin of seth and dunno-what-school's basketballer. without him, i think the opponents could have scored like 20 goals a game. yea. sherwyn was that good. he blocked almost everything la! pro-master! rarrgh. you can say he's something like our play-maker.

ESMOND- Hwa Chong gymast. slightly taller than me, but haha. quick reflexes and all muscles.

BEN- quiet man. but boy can he play! i've never seen ben move much. but he's steady and not rush. opposing teams dont notice him, making him an important player of ours. heheh. secret weapon?

JOSHUA- RI's dunno what. but boy can he catch. Joshua seldom misses a catch. no Joshua, much much lesser points scored.

GRACE- Nanyang's netball captain. enough said.

CLARICE- sure dares to try snatch a ball. even from guys taller by a head. i cant do that.

EE LAINE- another BEN. quiet and unnoticed. but good to have on court.

PENELOPE- didnt play much, but she's not bad.. not bad at all.

ME- the one always standing near our catcher while the rest try to get the ball. haha. i get to run less and score more. when someone defends and get the ball, like sherwyn or something, and opponents are too near to pass to nearby team mates, he goes long and i catch. then i will ATTEMPT to score. hey, i score quite a few ok.. haha..

i forgot who's the last player. crap man. how could i?

or maybe we had 11 only. haha. i dunno.

oh and in the end, we lost 2 games and won 3. cool man.

yea and we had the wrong strategy. we should have lost one of our teams badly and won one team strongly. so that we could play in both the winners league and losers league and get both teams in the finals and win first and second. then we could spent the $80 sakae sushi voucher for lunch then head to swensens to spend the $50 voucher on ice creams for desserts later on. aww.

unfortunately, we won and won and had to play our 2 teams against each other. so we just forfeited one team and added points to the other.

oh then we lost in the 3rd and 4th placing match one of the innovian teams.

haha. to be able to go so far, i'm happy enough.

yea! and one more interesting thing. nicole came to play. haha. and when she was playing against another team, i told cheryl, grace and clarice that in that game, nicole would play and fall down. but then she would rub it off and continue playing, not wanting to rest or anything.

and i was right. thankfully, cos i told them that nicole was a good, close friend. not that i wanted to see nicole fall, but if she didnt then i wouldnt be a good and close friend enough. i dont mean anything else ok. haha. aiya. its hard to explain what i was thinking.

i had a lot of exercise and had a lot of fun. thats all la.

oh yea. and when bryan and i went to the interchange to take a bus, it just left. so we ran to the next bus stop, and caught it. haha!

i managed to talk with audrey about everything. and i feel so much better.

i managed to accept her point of view and i'm not so disappointed as i was.

i thank God. cos before i called audrey i didnt know how things were going to work out.

i managed to even understand a bit of a math! haha! amazing!

after what happened today, i thought i should like talk to audrey. and last time, God told me to wait, that it wasnt the time to speak to audrey. so now i did. and it feels kinda wierd. i dont really talk on phones, see.

and i realised how people like my friends viewed me too. which really enlightened me.

oh crap i realise i didnt manage to finish telling her my feelings. aiya. doesnt matter la.

oh well, i have to accept the fact that my clique is mostly made up of high-flyers. and that i gotta jiayou.. i cant lose out.

study smart. but also study hard.

clock in the hours, yea.

blogs are for people to voice opinions so i'm just gonna be honest.

if anyone sees this and thinks i didnt get my facts right, then tag it. or tell me personally to clear the air. dont hold it back. dont add vinegar to it and gossip about me. i think thats not very fair. and i hope we all have brains to do so and not spoil friendships.

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secrets are harmful. so i'm letting it all run out of me...



the most interesting thing happened in school today and i just have to mention a few names.

well, my clique loves to eat in class. and most of the time i just mention to them how its against school rules. but i wont really like get into a heated argument over that cos i have more important things to do.

still, i feel that its not what a role model should do, after all, we collected colours award and everything..they shouldnt be doing these kinda things.

anyway, today, rj mich, aud and beef were eating again. i was quite angry cos beef is the class monitor, and rj and mich are co-class commitee members with me and jo. we should be setting an example, if not how to write that you're a good role model for your peers in your testimonial?

well, i just told them (twice though) that they should not be eating. after aud and mich said they wouldnt drop anything, i just left it there. afterall, they are good friends of mine and i kinda dont want to fault them.

after a while, the classroom went quiet. mich and aud were at the front of the classroom. they dropped 'nerds' and were looking for it.

i was kinda pissed. like who wouldnt? you mess up, you clean. but i relaxed and continued my work.

then, they went out of the class to the toilet. aud asked if i wanted to go. i dont know if it meant anything, but it was the first time she asked me if i wanted to go to the washroom.

when i turned back to my work, i saw yanying standing beside jialing. and jialing was crying. so i went up to her and found out she was actually stressed that my friends were eating and she couldnt do anything. she didnt want to report it to miss gan as miss gan would punish the whole class and then the class would know the prefects told on them. and jialing said that even if miss gan reprimanded the class, they wont not stop. afterall, the school had once and again enforced this rule already but theystill ate in class. jialing said miss gan would not single them out to reprimand them but that was the only way to maybe try and stop them from eating. she really felt disappointed and sad.

when they came back from class, they saw jialing crying and started sweeping with the broom. i told them that their actions made jialing vexed.

mich then went to apologise to jialing. but i think someone behind me i cant remember who told mich that she wasnt sincere, laughing and joking whilst apologising. then after a minute, mich was vexed and i think she teared.

then chinese started and mich went to miss gan's office to admit her mistakes.

at the beginning, i was kinda pissed at them for being so irresponsible and not taking this seriously. like when mich apologised, in my heart i kinda agreed with the person behind who commented mich wasnt sincere. thats from what i saw.

but then i'm really proud of mich for standing up and going to miss gan to confess. although she was a bit like er.. " ok la, so i go and tell miss gan that i ate, but i swept the floor and i go to church every sunday..." i thought maybe she was a bit bitter. still, it takes courage to confess and i think mich did well. i'm proud of her.

aud was kinda confused and maybe worried when mich went to miss gan.

when aud and i came into b1 class, i saw how much she changed under the influence of mich, rj and jo. of course all these while i was quite sad that i lost a good friend, but still, she was in my clique. i didnt say much.

sometimes i wonder if i'm being too obedient. and sometimes i wonder if there's such a thing
as being too obedient.

i know that my 'overly obedience' has caused me to drift away from my clique. but i just cant do anything about it. i dont know how. and i dont want not to be a good role model for my peers. i want them to look up to me and see that i have been a good example for them.

-----

see how minor mistakes end up so big? these kind of things never happened in a1 class. we were so free of friendship problem andemotional stuff. when i moved down to b1, i got a 'culture' shock. thats how bad it was. and i didnt get a culture shock when i went to thailand.

i miss my 2 years in a1 class. bring me back.. oh. let my attitude towards studies stay like that then bring bring me back to a1. when i say that, you know i didnt really study in a1.


thats all i have to say today. what do you say? tell me. get the right ideas, dont misunderstand.

uncle, dont say my chinese is lousy. your english isn't much better than my indonesian helper's.

and come to think of it, your chinese isn't that brilliant either.

you're chinese educated but i am english educated. i'm gonna prove that my chinese can be so much better as well.

------------------------------------------

you. didnt tell me you were leaving. you assumed. you caused me to be sad, angry and disappointed. you didnt even say goodbye. frere aine.

------------------------------------------

you. are bias, only paying attention to those high flyers. dont look down on me. dont belittle me.
so what if i dont look as pretty or am not as outspoken or need more help in my studies? mr. advocat.

------------------------------------------

you. keep trying to distant yourself from me. come on man. how long have we known each other? stop being so stuck up, stop showing off. mon voisin.

------------------------------------------

you. please treat me better. dont make me feel left out. show some feeling, involve me, copain.

------------------------------------------

me. i'm really tired. but i'm gonna work my ass off. i'm gonna study, though it may sound easy ( so NOT), i'm gonna psycho myself. i'm gonna loose so much weight you wont recognise me.

today was tough for me.

- i had 2 tests consecutively. only 2 minutes break. 2 different subjects. first thing in the morning.

- less recess

- chinese o level results sucked big time. i got a shock and this time my reaction was not so retarded. immediately i broke down.

- the whole day ended up in tears.

- i went to catch a cab home, then to church to get a letter from pastor dave, then back to school, then home.

- but before that, i gotta watch people cut my queue by walking a hundred metres ahead. stupid.
at least some people i knew let me go first although they stood a few metres in front of me. come on man, where's the courtesy.

- then a man was cutting grass and the grass flew towards me. i got cut in between my eyes and got cut on my legs. for goodness sake i could have been blinded! at least let me walk a bit further la!

- when i reached home i had to carry all my books. everything was so heavy i felt like a slave. not a good feeling when you are already down.

so many bad things happened to me today i thought i couldnt survive.

i hate chinese so much i cant stand the idea of retaking.. i dont know where to start.

now i gotta focus on all my other subjects, so many chapters so revise. i dont know why i am doing this.

sometimes its quite easy to give up. but i'm not gonna do so. i'm gonna get distinctions for all my subjects, my parents would be so proud they will buy me a house!

i just found out how hypocritical i am.

i tell people they have 'no life' and now i realised how i too have 'no life'.

i so freakin' HATE being overly sheltered.

as in, no staying over, no this no that. if you really want to, sign this i-will-keep-to-these-1000-conditions form.

about staying over- no staying over at friend's house, or a hotel even though the whole class is staying over as well.

the only times that i can is when its after exams. thats only once to twice a year.

like what the toot.

and bryan get to do so so many times? huh? what's going on. not only do his friends stay over almost regularly, but he gets to go to their houses too. what.. male favour-tism?

i remember how audrey told me how my clique sisnt really want to call me to ask if i could stay over with them and watch world cup.

i told them i would call them back. but in my heart, i knew the answer already. still, i didnt want my friends to think of me as a 'geek'. so i asked anyway. what a waste of time and phone bills.

and then audrey told me that they were contemplating to call me or not. they knew how i was the stay at home, mum dont allow, ' no life' girl. but out of courtesy they called. of course, they already knew what i was about to say.

i apologise to those i said had 'no life'. seems like i have to join y'all.

my mum may be right when she says if you sleep late, it takes weeks to recouperate. but that maybe only applies to sleepers in her category. maybe i am not in that category. maybe even if i do sleep late, i can wake up and be fresh, and go back to my normal sleeping times.

but anyway, staying over doesnt mean you have to sleep late. thats what my mum thinks. you dont sleep when you stay over. well, its the company of friends that makes stayovers meaningful. its times like these when we get to know each other better.

now i know why i am not as close to my friends. that because they are able to spend so much time with each other. me? thats out of the question.

i'm getting more freedom now, i'm able to go out more often. but.. there's a big difference compared to sleeping over.

just becuase my mum saw a few guys loitering outside the entrance to the hall i was in together with the whole cohord of sec 4s, she thinks i'm in serious danger. she thinks my friends are all easy people, with boyfriends and all. she paints a real bad picture of them.

someone please teach my mother to let go. she cant be protecting me so securely. she's got to let me learn bit by bit. of course not to teeny bit la. if not in the future i would really lose out.

what " dont care about what others think of you" its really not that real. come on man, face it. every teen's gotta face, we definitely dont want to "lose face" and "lose out". everyone's a teen before...

i'm quite frustrated that my mum is so over protective. no staying overs ano this and that.

i remember how mr kim always told me my mother was too strict with me. that was when i was in primary school and early secondary. then, i felt so much pity for myself. how come other kids got to take the public bus home by themselves in lower primary but i only started to take the bus in primary 5!! then, i was so embarassed when i had to ask my friends how to pay the fares, how to take the bus, what bus to take....

its not that i dont like my mum being protective. its her reasonings i feel are stupid. her way of teaching is just so... tight. if only she could loosen a bit, and not " take other people for example" especially my uncle's wife. of course not letting me go completely, but just realising how much i am missing out. and stop being so.. conservative..

i prays she sees this.

i'm sorry if this whole thing doesnt make sense, i just decided to post this after my mum told me i couldnt stay over at swissotel on prom night, even though my whole class is. she thinks my friends all have boyfriends and would happily invite their boyfriends into the rooms, putting me in a dangerous situation. c'mon mum. what kind of friends do you think i am mixing with?

O
LEVEL
CHINESE
IS
FINALLY
OVER!!!!!

YAY!!!

i think i did rather well, for the passage reading i thought i went quite fluently. one or two words i read totally wrongly but oh well, its over.

my register number is 14, so that means i have to wait quite some time.. but that day i had an audition in tjc, so mummy took leave to rush me there cos it started at 3 and i could only leave at 3.

i told the chinese HOD to let me go third, but she put me first!! shock!

and last minute i didnt have any identification as my IC was at home and ezlink card in the general office, so i ran all the way.

when i came back, michelle told me i was going first. i was so pissed. like lao shi already told me over the phone she would put me fifth or third or something. and then when i came back it was michelle who told me 'eagerly' that i was going first. so obviously i thought you know, lao shi could have talked to the class a bit and with response , she put my first.

what i wrote (previously) was not very nice, so i'm just gonna leave it like that. only people really close to me would be able to understand what i just wrote. sorry people. haha.

( i deleted what i wrote the previous time cos i think i was too mean. and NICOLE slashed it on my site. like NICOLE! you know also no need to write it all out!! haha. this is hilarious. just tell me you understand la...)

so yea. after 3, i rushed to tjc thanks to mummy. and i did the audition. so fun! it took an hour, the teachers asked me to do so many things. i realised how different jc is from secondary school. oh i am gonna cope so well, note the sacarstic tone.

oh yea, and music marathon is finally over too! things did not go as planned but i think my class adjusted to the changes rather well, i am so proud of them.

i thought it was sucky at first, but after some time i realised that my expectations as the leader might be a bit too high cos my class is not a choir and everyone has different abilities. yea. thats one thing i learnt.

for now, i have to go back to my books. no time to lose, more updates soon!

i have so many things to think about, i'm so tired.

firstly, midyears in 2 days. and my revision is not going well.

second, music marathon, and i have to find the chinese songs and try my best to memorise. oh, its gonna be so easy! yay! *note the sacarstic tone.*

third, i'm going to japan from the 30 nov to 15 dec. and i dont want to.

firstly, cambridge dinner, prom. roughly about that time. mum said can delay a bit.
but how about tm camp and christmas drama?

i dont want to miss them.

tm camp is tm camp. period.

i've been and still am not talking part in church activities until after o levels. i missed last year's christmas production and i felt so bad. i want to do this year's, but with this trip, haha. only 10 days to rehearse if i do it, so easy huh.. yes so what if 2004's was done in a week? with so many changes, i doubt it.

now, i've got midyears to worry about. and thats another very big worry.

i'm so tired. its in the middle of the night but i'm waiting for some stuff so dont waste time. blog la.

i HAVE to say how bad my class is.

the music marathon auditions are tomorrow but only today people tell me i gotta do some stuff like powerpoint slides and compilations and all. yea, i can do them quick and well, but i still am human, i gotta sleep. and at the rate my comp transfers stuff, i can walk to jurong and back. twice!

here's the story..

beef smses me in the evening telling me about how there's a need to do some slides and compile songs and burn them into a cd and save in usb. ok, i agree to help. but i remember one thing. i was not in charge. ok, nevermind, not in charge still can do, afterall, a leader has got to be flexible and do these kind of things.

so i start work. but beef cant transfer stuff to me cos it always get cancelled somehow. it appears to be my comp's fault.

ok, i cant do anything, i'm thinking of what to do, then i think of the people who are supposedly in charge. how come nothing was done before hand? why all last minute? nevermind, i told beef to get them to do.

one was out dunno where, one apparently didnt want to do.

hello, when i was out with my family and beef asked me to help with the chinatown cip presentation, i rushed home and did the work till past midnight!

i finally got one girl to do, and it didnt seem as though she didnt want to do. maybe beef ask cannot and i ask can...? so then cos she agreed to do the slides, i wasnt that irritated anymore.

then, i had to compile songs and i didnt have any. finally, beef admitted that it was her comp's problem, cannot transfer stuff, so i continued work, getting people to help me burn discs and transfer songs. yea i heard its illegal but i'm in distress. I HAVE NO CHIOCE.

now, the songs are finally transfered but i got my friend into big trouble. his mother seems to be very very angry.

and my wrist hurts again. stupid volleyball injury.

i'm so mad. while people sleep, i work. and i usually sleep at like what, 11? 10?

oh well, all for the class, all for GOD! jiayou!

her lesson was so slow. she treated us like retards, explaining and repeating even the simplest statement. in her class, i feel like a super genius.

homework is sometimes what she thinks we cant finish in class time bacause we talk too much. actual fact? we look like we weren't doing any work because we REALLY WEREN'T doing any work. all those questions? done in about 5 minutes. and cos we were done, we talk!

poor her. she just wants the best for us. but poor her, she cant see we are doing 'exellent' jobs.
maybe she's a bit slow,maybe she'll understand later. much later.

for now, i've got free time to rest my brain when she's 'teaching'.

urgh. i hate myself for slacking so much. gonna "chiong" the last round, do 10 compos tomorrow and sunday. and also finish up the o level chinese book.

i realised how much i deproved when i pasted paper over the bottom part of the tv screen so that when i watch a chinese show, i cant see the subtitles.

i got so fed up and irritated cos i could understand parts of it.

today in school, i realised why i received the cleanest award in tm camp.
sec 4s are all taking the chinese o level paper in the hall together so we had to move tables into the hall today. the table wasnt mine ( it was terribly shaky and i take good care of tables -whatever) .
anyway, i poured water twice on the table and used up half my new packet of tissue cleaning it. then i felt it wasnt clean enough so i took out my sanitizing spray and sprayed the whole table. now i have very little spray left. and yes, i bring sanitizer every day. aiya, the bottle so small la, and its in case of emergency. like in case i cant wash my hands cos of lack of time or something. yup.

no time to lose, gotta " piah". ( did i use it correctly? thats how you say it right?)

mugging time!

i am so stupid i know i am gonna fail everything.

when i walk into the exam hall, my mind goes blank.

all that i have saved will suddenly go into the recycling bin. its as if the hall door has some magnetic force field that automatically deletes whatever i saved and then goes into standby mode.

someone give me a stress ball before i kill myself.

this is what i wrote in sec 1. dont laugh. haha. -.-

Ten grumpy garndparents groaning for wine.
one was too drunk, there left nine.

Nine grumpy grandparents looking for some bait.
one got hooked so there left eight.

Eight grumpy grandparent trying to feed ravens.
one got pecked hard, there left seven.

Seven grumpy grandparents went out with kids.
one became exhausted, that left six.

Six grumpy grandparent learning how to dive.
one knocked the bootom, there left five.

Five grumpy grandparents using spoons as oars.
one stretch too far so that left four.

Four grumpy grandparents sitting on a tree.
one branch broke, then there were three.

Three grumpy grandparents trainning tigers to "moo".
the tigers were irritated, that left two.

Two grumpy grandparents going out to sea.
one didnt come so that left me.

ten things i want to say:

1. i have tests next week and mid years the next next week. then comes o level chinese.
2. i cant read or write chinese. crap man.
3. i miss mob. everyone with me, the people there, the food.. the programs..
4. i cant go for camp. oh dang it. school extends for another 2 weeks.
5. its wierd to blog when there are so many people around me..
6. its official. there is no way to study with relatives in the house. especially if your nieces and nephews are babies or toddlers. my ears hurt.
7. next time if i had a screaming baby, i would ignore it. man, thats the way not to pamper him or her. my child would definitely learn that screaming goes nowhere.
8. i realised how 'competitive' i am. i went to the gym to run. amazing! so that i can get a of 2.4km.
9.my 'clique' in school is not very caring. maybe thats how i got influenced. a bit.
10. i'm going to heaven!!! wheee!! =)

I never thought it be so simple,
Have to
find a way, I'd find a way..

I know you wouldnt agree so simply
Have to
find a way, I'd find a way..

If you'd open up your mind..

It's gonna take some time to realise
But if you look inside I'm sure you'll find
Over your shoulder
You know that I
Told you I'll
Always be
Pickin' you
Up when you're
Down...

So just turn around...

========================

this song is not completed, thats why it doesnt really make any sense.

yesterday was bartley's <> program and i felt both happiness and sadness at the same time.

i reached church at 11.30, ready to rehearse.

12 plus, rehearsed and made up.

1 plus, audrey called to ask for directions.

2 plus, put on make up for the guys. matt is only sec 3 but way more coorperative than cgl!
cgl was so squirmy about mere FACE MOISTURISER!

2.30, got an sms telling me none of my friends will be coming.

didnt really think about it, just a little dissapointed.

2.45, went downstairs to mingle and stuff. saw nicole with her friends. could actually recognise sing ling before being introduced. i think she's really nice.

told nicole that none of my friends were coming and then i started to cry. hmmm.

yea. cry. in the middle of the sanctuary. wanted to control my emotions in front of nicole's friends but could really help it. dear nicole was desperately trying to stop me from crying. haha.
she was like," argh! cheryl... you cannot cry!! you already have your make up on!! argh!! ok.. ok.. nevermind...."

haha. pastor dave was really nice, he cheered me up by jokingly tell me he would help me beat up whoever was bullying me. amy jie was there with me in the toilet, comforting me, and nicole's presence in the beginning was already enough. haha. thanks so much.

there were so many people who came that there was hardly any space left for more people. the emcees had to keep telling everyone to squeeze and make more space for people. thank God so much for the turnout.

the program went so fast and i didnt even know that it was my turn to perform. fensie jie and 'daddy' just said like ' oh you know willy wonka produced the new chewing gum that doesnt go tasteless.. whatever blah blah.." then it was my turn to go on stage.

basically, the whole program went REALLY WELL! so happy.

after everything, i watched the recording and i realised i was actually moving to the music. every movement was according to the beat. haha. i think i looked really funny.

well.. doesnt matter la. will wait for the vcd to be out.

its very depressing looking through my portfolio. there is nothing worth putting in actually, besides my psle scorecard. and to think i thought i did quite well.

bryan has so many certs. rargh.

i will never get a good job that i will enjoy and pays me a decent amount.

come to think of it, this whole life is almost a waste. Thank God for .. well, God, if not, this whole life would BE a waste. i just want to die now or something and go enjoy myself in heaven.

i dont want to study anymore. its so tiring. and the work always makes me cry. O Levels seem so far yet so near. where will i go after o levels? for thie first 3 months? then 2 years, then another 3 years before i work for 30 plus 40 plus years?

i think i might work some job that pays dang well for a few years, get enough money then retire. maybe about 30 years old?? haha.

FAT + FAT = CHERYL

THERFORE, CHERYL = 2 FAT

in layman's term,

CHERYL IS TOO FAT.

I'm such a stupid and an ugly fool. Yuck.

-----------------------------------------------

You know that fatso in the mirror in front of me?? HATE HER!

i read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923.
grandpa kept it in his coat
and he showed it once to me.
he said
boy you might not understand
but a long long time ago,
grandma's daddy didnt like me none
but i loved your grandma so.


we had this crazy plan to meet
and run away together,
get married in the first town we came to
and live forever.
but near to the tree
where we were supposed to meet instead,
i found this letter
and this is what it said...

if you get there before i do,
dont give up on me.
i'll meet you when my chores are through,
i dont know how long i'll be.
but i'm not gonna let you down,
darling wait and see
and between now and then,
till i see you again,
i'll be loving you,
love me.

---------------------------------------

thats the first half of this song but already, it can bring tears to my eyes. how lovely.

posting the next half soon. wait for it.

still got loads of homework to do. i need to sit down somewhere with no tv, no more distractions and no one to bother me. then i can at least lower the height of the pile. if not, people will keep adding to it.

oh man, God please please help me. give me discipline and motivation to really sit down, and do my work!!!!

i tell you what is hard to do. not conforming to the ways of the world.

in the past 1 year, i have seen friends changing their characters, to become more like their company. its so drastic that if i compare to only 2 years ago, i can put the world in between.

whatever.

i dont like tests and results. i dont like they way they see things, the way they react to things, the way they try to be the top, the way they try to do all their way, their way.

i admit my wrong. i realised i became like them. i got influenced by their character, i added in my own. its not a good mix i tell you.

it was my rebelious streak today and i out smarted and out talked the pe teacher. i even made fun of her. i apologised sacarstically and when she said i was not sincere, i bowed. that was how crap i was.

i dont have enough respect for her. yea, she is older, but by a year or two. thus the difficulty doing every little thing she said. but oh well. i guess she is trying her best.

luckily i realised my error fast and apologised during recess. whew. hope she doesnt have any hard feelings...

i just realised why i was so pissed today. the class got back the physics paper during assembly and i scored 25 out of 45. which is like just passed! ( thats not good by the way) and i was in quite i shock, trying to figure out where i went wrong, then when i found out some errors and wanted to scheck, the pe teacher called us to gather. naturally i was pissed. hello? pe is so much less important duh.

but all is over, hope the class doesnt remember it.

telling more about the class in the other one.

oh i just found out how to post pictures. dang i am so slow. hee. next post, you all are gonna die scrolling down. heheh..=)

gotton over everything. seeing it all in a different light. reacting the way i should. being myself. thinking my way, not his, hers, or theirs.

-----------------------------

had the most delicious dinner ever. in singapore. marina mandarin's aquamarine restaurant.

oh my goodness. so happy. after tm, the family went to marina mandarin to check out a few restaurants. we planned on visiting all the restaurants before choosing one. but.. after entering the first restaurant, aquamarine, i immediately saw a 5 layer chocolate fondue fountain. haha. thus i made my choice. there was a gi-normous spead as well.

there was a

cold platter selection- oysters, mussels, crabs, prawns, scallops..

japanese section- soba, sushi, sashimi and lots of other food.

appetiser section- small plates and cups of things i did not try. but i did take FOIE GRAS! they had foie gras! oh my!

cook-your-own section- they has plates of raw food and a steamboat or something to cook it the way you want.

cook-for-you section- oyster ommelettes, tempura...

already-cooked section- normal buffet stuff like seafood in white wine sauce, black pepper lobsters, chilli crabs, lyonaise potatos and more.

cake section- the had at least six different kinds of cakes there, still circular but cut into slices for you..

cheese section- more than 8 kinds of cheese!

ice cream section - strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, the three usual flavours, and lime sorbet. oh my, the sorbet was so good! not too sweet, not too sour, not too strong or too mild. oh my! and there was about 6 different kinds of toppings you could add. ( there were m&ms haha. i like. only complain is that they had no chocolate rice.)

fruit section- thats normal.

mini dessert section- small cups after cups of i-dunno-what-since-i-didnt-try-cos-i-was-too-full. but it looked good.

and last but definitely not the least - fondue!!! ahhh!!! i ate so much of it, i think i consumed equivalant to a big bar. marshmallows, strawberries, honeydew, melon.. actually you could just take a spoon and get some chocolate over anything you want. ice-cream or cake or whatever.

my goodness i need to evercise after all that food. first time in one year or so that i ate till i was bloated. normally i stop once i feel full.

i never felt so wierd in my life. i feel jealous. i feel like an outcast, overshadowed by the leaders, the high Ds people i am hanging out with. i went for more leadership training, but nothing can beat social connections, reputation and popularity. i think its the same, but anyway..

a math was a mind tiring. learning differenciation. i didnt quite get it but after today i did.

did questions after questions for lesson and i slowly foud out how to do them. differenciation, for the benefit of those not studying it, is a tedious process whereby you simplify, add, factorise, blah blah, blah blah.

the last question we did for the day was so tedious and tricky that when i had to copy the answer on the board, i was in shock and didnt move for a while. after everything, i felt so wierd. i had to hold my neck with my left hand and the table in the other. slowly i was breathing faster and got more emotional. then finally i ended lessons by crying but smiling at the same time.

tired, zonked and stressed out.

mummy had to counsel me yesterday. i love my mum. i can tell her anything. audrey said her mum doesnt talk to her like that.

13th feb. my sch celebrates valentines day. since 14th is a school holiday, people went about everyclass giving chocolates, sweets, notes, flowers and other presents. i felt like i was in school for christmas.

14th feb. valentines day. spent it with my beloved...... books.

15th feb. another valentines day. those who didnt buy presents in time gave out the belated presents.

yesterday. my school finally lost. to anglican high c div table tennis team.

after winning champions for zonals for 15 consective years, i couldnt help feeling disappointed, i felt like crying for my school. i am not in table tennis anymore, but i was part of that legacy. i played for my school in lower sec afterall.

today, went to acjc for funorama after tuition in the morning. was 45 minutes late meeting ivan.
the weather was so hot. the grounds were huge. bought 30 dollars worth of tickets from michelle and josia but realised after an hour or two that buying ten dollars was enough.
so many yfers were in ac so when we visited theeir booths we got many free stuff.

snow ice - edwin
sarah chan- game stall
avelyn- need for speed
michelle- haunted house
josia- fried mars bars

who else? i dunno. i think more.

went to church after seeing mrs kelvina chan being dunked for $3000 + dollars. she was asking for it.

the girl mc-ing was lady gweneviere or however you spell it from last year's camelot i think. sounds like, looks like. camelot was good! watched it like 4 times..?


tm, amy jie taught us how to remember the ten commandments. learnt quite a bit from ps dave and had a good cg time.

after tm, talked with christina. i like her. so pretty. cheryl teo too. daddy came in a while to disturb. said i weighed 53 kg when i said he looked a hundred in the shirt he was wearing. he was wearing my shirt! the shirt i was going to buy when we were in thailand. we were in the adidas shop and he had lousy taste choosing shirts and couldnt find any. i was holding that shirt in my hand so i showed it to him. and after immediately trying it on, he bought it. oh well. they didnt have it my size anyway.

i like collared adidas shirts. ok, i like any sports wear. i dunno i just do. oh. forever 21 is not bad too.

anyway, back to tm. bryan demanded $5 from me to go dinner with tm people.
how about me? he keeps leaving me out. and no other people go out for dinner.
so then i gave him the remaining money in my wallet, and being penniless, had to resort to calling my dad to pick me up.

thats my life.

today. prefects investiture.

ushered people. was stationed outside the hall. so saw everyone.

all the prefects from other schools looked the same. dark blue blazers and dark blue skirts, pants. blah. yea, there were occasional greens, reds, blacks..

i think pl has the best blazers. the rest look like SIA staff.

ushered and ushered. always using the same line, " hi! welcome to PL! this way please."

" hi! welcome to PL! this way please."
" hi! welcome to PL! this way please."
this way this way, please please please.

sad to say, didnt see and guy prefects who i can rate even a measely 3 and a half stars.

too short, too many pimples, too quiet.. oh well. who said i was looking for a match anyway..

12.30pm. the service started. ushers stood outside, missing all the action, told only to go into the hall at 12.50.

from 12.30 to 12.50. no one came.

after 12.50. the rest of the ushers went in to the hall, to get places. i, walked to the front of the school, i dunno why.

God told me to go to the front gate, and look right. i saw nothing. i knew i had to be patient but i turned back. saw security guard uncle. asked him to direct the late prefects to the hall.

turned to face front gate again and saw a taxi just outside. prefects from st. mags.

led them to hall. made way to gate, saw another school.

i think this is a testimony. God told me what to do. when i saw the st mags prefects. i knew this was a testimony.