i just found out how hypocritical i am.

i tell people they have 'no life' and now i realised how i too have 'no life'.

i so freakin' HATE being overly sheltered.

as in, no staying over, no this no that. if you really want to, sign this i-will-keep-to-these-1000-conditions form.

about staying over- no staying over at friend's house, or a hotel even though the whole class is staying over as well.

the only times that i can is when its after exams. thats only once to twice a year.

like what the toot.

and bryan get to do so so many times? huh? what's going on. not only do his friends stay over almost regularly, but he gets to go to their houses too. what.. male favour-tism?

i remember how audrey told me how my clique sisnt really want to call me to ask if i could stay over with them and watch world cup.

i told them i would call them back. but in my heart, i knew the answer already. still, i didnt want my friends to think of me as a 'geek'. so i asked anyway. what a waste of time and phone bills.

and then audrey told me that they were contemplating to call me or not. they knew how i was the stay at home, mum dont allow, ' no life' girl. but out of courtesy they called. of course, they already knew what i was about to say.

i apologise to those i said had 'no life'. seems like i have to join y'all.

my mum may be right when she says if you sleep late, it takes weeks to recouperate. but that maybe only applies to sleepers in her category. maybe i am not in that category. maybe even if i do sleep late, i can wake up and be fresh, and go back to my normal sleeping times.

but anyway, staying over doesnt mean you have to sleep late. thats what my mum thinks. you dont sleep when you stay over. well, its the company of friends that makes stayovers meaningful. its times like these when we get to know each other better.

now i know why i am not as close to my friends. that because they are able to spend so much time with each other. me? thats out of the question.

i'm getting more freedom now, i'm able to go out more often. but.. there's a big difference compared to sleeping over.

just becuase my mum saw a few guys loitering outside the entrance to the hall i was in together with the whole cohord of sec 4s, she thinks i'm in serious danger. she thinks my friends are all easy people, with boyfriends and all. she paints a real bad picture of them.

someone please teach my mother to let go. she cant be protecting me so securely. she's got to let me learn bit by bit. of course not to teeny bit la. if not in the future i would really lose out.

what " dont care about what others think of you" its really not that real. come on man, face it. every teen's gotta face, we definitely dont want to "lose face" and "lose out". everyone's a teen before...

i'm quite frustrated that my mum is so over protective. no staying overs ano this and that.

i remember how mr kim always told me my mother was too strict with me. that was when i was in primary school and early secondary. then, i felt so much pity for myself. how come other kids got to take the public bus home by themselves in lower primary but i only started to take the bus in primary 5!! then, i was so embarassed when i had to ask my friends how to pay the fares, how to take the bus, what bus to take....

its not that i dont like my mum being protective. its her reasonings i feel are stupid. her way of teaching is just so... tight. if only she could loosen a bit, and not " take other people for example" especially my uncle's wife. of course not letting me go completely, but just realising how much i am missing out. and stop being so.. conservative..

i prays she sees this.

i'm sorry if this whole thing doesnt make sense, i just decided to post this after my mum told me i couldnt stay over at swissotel on prom night, even though my whole class is. she thinks my friends all have boyfriends and would happily invite their boyfriends into the rooms, putting me in a dangerous situation. c'mon mum. what kind of friends do you think i am mixing with?

O
LEVEL
CHINESE
IS
FINALLY
OVER!!!!!

YAY!!!

i think i did rather well, for the passage reading i thought i went quite fluently. one or two words i read totally wrongly but oh well, its over.

my register number is 14, so that means i have to wait quite some time.. but that day i had an audition in tjc, so mummy took leave to rush me there cos it started at 3 and i could only leave at 3.

i told the chinese HOD to let me go third, but she put me first!! shock!

and last minute i didnt have any identification as my IC was at home and ezlink card in the general office, so i ran all the way.

when i came back, michelle told me i was going first. i was so pissed. like lao shi already told me over the phone she would put me fifth or third or something. and then when i came back it was michelle who told me 'eagerly' that i was going first. so obviously i thought you know, lao shi could have talked to the class a bit and with response , she put my first.

what i wrote (previously) was not very nice, so i'm just gonna leave it like that. only people really close to me would be able to understand what i just wrote. sorry people. haha.

( i deleted what i wrote the previous time cos i think i was too mean. and NICOLE slashed it on my site. like NICOLE! you know also no need to write it all out!! haha. this is hilarious. just tell me you understand la...)

so yea. after 3, i rushed to tjc thanks to mummy. and i did the audition. so fun! it took an hour, the teachers asked me to do so many things. i realised how different jc is from secondary school. oh i am gonna cope so well, note the sacarstic tone.

oh yea, and music marathon is finally over too! things did not go as planned but i think my class adjusted to the changes rather well, i am so proud of them.

i thought it was sucky at first, but after some time i realised that my expectations as the leader might be a bit too high cos my class is not a choir and everyone has different abilities. yea. thats one thing i learnt.

for now, i have to go back to my books. no time to lose, more updates soon!