Manipulation or God's plan?

Read a devotional today about the skills that I have which could be used to manipulate, so that good things can result. It taught that with the skills I have, I can easily do things my way, so that I can reap the benefits. What if, these skills were used separate from God's will? Then won't I miss out on the opportunity to learn a lesson God intended for me in the process or journey? I might even miss out on a chance to see God's glory, power and hand in my life. 

If I knew what I was pursuing was God's will, then my actions would be smart, otherwise it would be manipulation. The devotional's advice for such a situation was to back off, and wait. Wait for God to speak, to move, to fight for me. Let Him show that it could only come from Him and not by my own strength. 

It's like serving in worship. I can try SO hard to practice and keep singing a song over and over again, trying to make it sound good, but when I could just surrender it to God, and not worry about how I sound, when I sing, I worship and to me it sounds better because it came from the heart. 

Growing up on earth

Life's complicated. I can't wait for heaven.

As much as I like love, sometimes I wish there was no such thing.

Dear Lord,

The trial is hard today, but I see it as another opportunity to grow in You. Thank You that You never change, You are faithful even when life is uncertain. Amen.

Daily Manna

Imagine for a moment that you are living in Jesus' time. It is before Jesus has begun His public ministry. He is a carpenter in your local town of Nazareth. You have asked Jesus to make a table for you. You're on a deadline and you must have it in a week. You agree on the price of $100 for the table and the date of one week for completion. A week later you arrive to pick up the table. You lay your money down on the table and Jesus says, "Mr. Johnson, I am sorry but the table is not ready. I ran into complications. Also, I can no longer honor the price I gave you. It is now $150 instead of $100."

Two years later you hear about this same Jesus who is preaching to the local townspeople. How are you going to view this Jesus? You probably won't give much credence to His message because of your personal experience. Our lives have an ability to reinforce the message we stand for, or they can violate it and make it totally ineffective. This literally happens all over the world in different settings with Christian workplace believers. Our message becomes ineffective because we have not done what we said.

Follow through with your words unless it's out of your control. Then, your words will have substance to those who hear it.

St. Petersberg

Things about St. Petersberg I'll remember:

1. Eugene, our rebellious, rule-bending, law-breaking longhair-ed tour guide. Always favouring us and trying to help us do stuff that museums and palaces usually don't allow.
2. The Hermitage. Really really cool winter palace with paintings and very elaborately decorated rooms. My first encounter with so many Picasso, Van Gogh, Da Vinvi, Monet and other famous artists' paintings.
3.

Berlin

Things about Berlin I'll remember:
1. Split second excitement seeing a bevy of shiny black mercedes vans and white marques at the entrance of the Berlin Fashion Week. Somehow it just jumped at me like I've seen this real life image in a scene of some movie.
2. Walking through the holocaust memorial and learning about the things people did to hide from the nazis.
3. Driving past east side gallery and recognising the same sections of wall that Ian stood beside.
4. The loud cry of enthusiasm when our Berlin guide told us about Hotel Adlon. Once hosted Obama and a few other dignitaries, but obviously the cry arose only when she pointed out which balcony at which Michael Jackson dangled his son off.
5. Dad claiming to help save money by sacrificing and drinking beer instead of buying water.

Copenhagen

Things about Denmark I'll remember:

1. People ride on the right side of escalators. Mum never got used to it.
2. You can't buy metro tickets with notes, only credit card by pin number, or coins.
3. Bicycle lanes are more popular than the main roads. Plus. I've never seen so many new bicycles made to look pretty and vintage. Love those with the chestnut coloured cane baskets attached to the front.
4. The pastries. Yum. :)
5. Wearing my sunnies at 9pm.
6. Upping my alcohol tolerance, with good wine, no less.
7. The fam watching that cantonese drama with those policemen and detectives who appear as firemen, athletes and the occasional concubine in other cantonese dramas. Thing about this I'll remember is not the plot or actors but the fact that all 4 of us could fit on a giant single bed.
8. Walking away from the Rosenberg Castle without entering. Seeing police park on the street in whatever direction they fancied, obviously taking advantage of the blue siren on the top of their cars. Danish policemen arming themselves with bulletproof vests and guards checking their rifles as long as I am tall before they all walked into the castle together. My guess: an over-excited tourist with a fever standing too close to the glass exhibit holding the crown jewels.
9. August, the cute German-chinese 9 month old at the next table at Madklubben bistro. He definitely runs on battery.

Time travel

Bring me back to the past, when all was good and well.

Hold it til it's over.

Be a bit stronger, hold it in til it's over.

Honestly, pretty sure I can find some place more comfortable for me a few steps back. I mean, where I am now is a good place, but I don't quite like it affecting everything else. Going back to being more like a waffle then spaghetti.

Rant ground.

I have a feeling I'll be using this space a lot more.

Next day reply

It's almost like a scolding a father gives to his child when his child behaves immaturely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVQeAG2MYFs&feature=g-vrec

Don't know why this came up amongst the recommended videos on YouTube, and I honestly don't know why I clicked on it, cos it's not my habit to click on videos more than 20 minutes long.

Didn't know how it was relevant to me, but that's just the start. Don't know why I kept watching it without closing the window.

But when what I needed to hear came up, it was like BAM. God was knocking on my head. "Hellooooo, wake up your idea!"

James 5:17

Elijah was a man just like us.

Moses, David, Abraham, Paul, John and other men from the Bible. They were all just like us today, people around me, people like me.

There are people in our lives that are so much more talented, gifted, knowledgeable and these people can make you feel insecure.

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

Ephesians 2:10

We are Christ's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

God planned all my activities before I was born. Everything I do is because He made me and wanted me to do that.

He designed me to do what I do, even before I was created, He planned me and designed me with a specific purpose.

The task is not something I should be afraid of, I was created to do it.

I was not made wrongly, there is no design flaw. God's the creator and He made me the way He intended to.

Don't focus on your insecurities. Don't say you can't do it, don't degrade yourself. Because He made you, you're putting the creator down if you say you can't do it.

Don't be afraid of doing things for God, if He planned for you to do it.

Could cry now.

Don't think I've stressed so much over something that's not even stress-worthy. Come on.

At this point, I'm at a low, and there's no confidence. Need to think about what my next step should be.

Give up, escape. Instant peace. Temporary guilt.

Brave it, soldier on. No peace til it's over. No guilt, but possibility of humiliation.



When I'm weak, You make me strong.

It just hit me

What's holding me back?

What's wrong with letting go, opening the gates that wall around the city of my heart?
What's wrong with letting people get close to me, and why is it I always end up pushing people away?
Seems like it all the time. I invite them to come, then when they get too close for comfort, sorry dude, you need to back off.

Why do I always think it's easier to live the way I do, not thinking about this:

It's not about the ease of life, not about smooth living. God didn't call us to a peaceful life on earth anyways.
It's not about staying in my bubble of protection, rejecting any possibility of change in emotion, cos then I'll be missing out.

On the happys and sads, the ups and downs. And that's just normal. It's life! Life's meant to be emotional. We're human.

Just have to remember, even in the ups and downs, as long as I look to Christ, it's all good. So I might not be used to it. I might enjoy the happys, and feel like the sads are harder to take. But if Christ holds my heart, I'm sure He'll protect it and won't drop it. He brings me through everything in life. Lover of my soul.


It's all good. :)

I'm scared, but it's time. I'm letting go.

Life

Just when you think your life is moving right with God, the devil usually likes to cause some trouble, push you down and make you feel like it's not. But stay strong in the Lord, for He is carrying you. He promised not to let you go. He'll hold you tight even through the storm.

한국어가 힘들어요.

오늘 또 시험이 있어요. 아침에 아홉시부터 오후 두시까지 공부했어요. 조금 피곤해요. 심장이 아파요.

Korean

오늘한국어시험이있어요.
지금두시사십분이에요. 하지만곻부하고있어요.

One more year.

Happy Birthday Cheryl! :)

God remembered. And He loves you so much, you'll always be His baby girl.

Them Ts

Why do they appear only after a month and when you least expect it?

Honestly

The reason why I'm up here again is because I feel bleh. Today's just been a weird day. Too many emotions I've been pushed to experience in the span of 12 hours. It drained me of my energy.

So now I'm tired physically, but my mind's got a mind of it's own.

Perth - Sing - Perth

Took me 4 weeks, but just when I'm fully acclimatized to Singapore, I'm gonna go back to Perth. Not that I'm complaining. I really want to go back.

#01 reason why I wanna go back

I like Perth because I find it easier to hear God without all the rush, activities and people.

When it feels weird

Thing is, I'll never know why God lets me go through uncertainty, but I know He will never leave me or fail me, and I'm certain He has plans for me that are bigger than the plans I had for myself.

:)