Just wanted to write it here in case I ever need to use it:

matchstick puzzles.

:)

My God came today.

I'm so thankful that I had an opportunity to serve Him today, leading cell worship with Sam.

Haven't led worship for so long, preparing for it made me feel very useful again. Thank you God. :) I felt like it's something I can do to give back to Him.

Must study hard now that exams are coming up.

Oh help.

Right now I don't have words to best explain how awesome my God is.

God's really awesome in Faith Community Church, where I am at now.

This series we're doing now is really applicable, especially now when I'm going through this period of transformation and change. Transformation. I like that word.

Today's message gave me courage and hope. Be brave and charge into the darkness. Then you'll find that there's no monster.

God, I wanted say you have no idea how much I love you,

but you actually know.

:) That makes you even more awesome. Haha.

for the record: literally heart pain throughout the day today.

urgh. it's been happening recently. hmmm. no good.

I just don't know what to say. My heart hurts every time I think about you.

I just wish you were stronger. I wish you had just taken some of my heck-care attitude and thrown your worries to God. Cos I don't want it now. If I could I would have given my attitude to you.

Just when I decided that I'm gonna be more open, I'm gonna be less 'cool', gonna allow myself to show vulnerability, news of you came around.

When I'm back in Singapore, Mel, you won't be.

I remember the first time I met you, I thought you weren't very nice cos you didn't smile. I feel so bad knowing that you were going through so much.

May God have mercy on your soul. I wanna see you when I get to heaven.