Stress. No stress.

Gone the days when I was, I was happy.

The only reason why in this modern time and age I still write letters is because that's the only way I can effectively communicate with my parents. Seriously.

I told you so. I told you'll break earlier than me. =)

HAHAHA. This feels good. Now if only it could last.

I choose to believe that what I'm gonna do will affect you more than it will to me. And then you'll see that what was before was good.

I am so evil. Hahaha.

Felt so good when I was back from the gym, I ate a biscuit, some grapes, some blueberries and half a piece of bahkwa.

BAHKWA eh. I am so awesome. Hahaha.

MANDA!!!!

I washed the mop about 20 times at frolick today. And my hand is bruised cos I didn't see that the mob handle was spoilt and the plastic was jutting out. So when I wringed the mobhead dry, when I twisted the handle, friction.

And I hosanna, til my skin tore, I'm numb.

I'm happy today. My singing was horrible and I thought practices were better than the real thing. I did manage to achieve my goal though.

I'm tired.

I've got tracking and archiving to do tomorrow. YAY finally I've got full access to the database, I can do my work without any problems. I actually like working at Focus on the family. =)

It's becoming increasingly difficult to write the little paragraph on my dad and what he means to me when I'm still in this emotional phase.

I have never taken so long, days, to write something. Writing a lit essay in JC didn't even take so long.

Now's a lot.

My purity ring says Worth the Wait.

Jo! I have a purity ring! =)

Actually in the first place I don't intend on having sex before marriage. So wearing the ring is not so significant, since I have already made a choice.

I'm posting so much these few days.

I think I'm stressed.

At this moment, I feel weaker than before. I feel like crying. A bit.

And I know how to be stronger. So I will. For my sake, for the sake of returning to just weeks ago when it was all happy, healthy and good.

This means that it'll be harder. Climbing back uphill is never easier than sliding down. But eventually when I get to the top, it'll be rewarding.

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Today in the office, God told me twice to be still. Once in the song, once in a cookie. I don't think it's coincidental.

Amy jie once said that the reason why people repeat stuff is because it's important.

And I understand that peace is found in the Lord.

And I'm going to come back to Him.

I thank You Lord for revealing Yourself to me again, and I thank You for Your mercies which are new every morning. I pray for forgiveness and guidance as I continue to walk.

I pray for peace and the comfort in knowing that You've got my life wired, there's no need to worry about the future. So Lord I give thanks because You are good.

I pray You'll answer my prayers and allow me to move on from here, I pray that You'll help me learn to accept all that You have given and taken away from me.

Lord I recommit my life to You. Amen.

I'm sorry I take it all back. It's not what I feel. I was just posting emo shiz. Haha.

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On saturday, the dreaded feeling came back to me. And I walked out alone.

I am worth the wait.

It's like, God's giving me forks in the road and I have to choose my path. Sometimes I may make a wrong turning or two but He's still there every second trying to make me turn around and walk the right way.

Like now. Like with all these happening. God's put me in an environment full of people after His heart. It's like subtle prompts to walk right.

I want to be in places where God is happy.

I thank you all for making this birthday better than I had expected.

My lovlies, the J3s in TM/TF,

wyn jeanne nana gracie angel elaine jess jamescgl daryl esmond eliel johnk ben and whoever was there on sunday but I didn't see cos I ran away, your love and efforts, planted in the middle of my brain and heart.

my bros,

kelvin jamesliew and bryan for the surprise outside my door and the VERY LOUD "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in my face, not forgetting the balloons that flooded the dining hall floor hahaha.

my parents,

for GIVING BIRTH TO ME, and the giant cake, I love you both, although I might possibly love you both even MORE if I could even start to learn to drive. heh.

my sixinaclique,

for the normal dinner, and then the blindfolded drive to I have no idea where since I was blindfolded, the sparklers spelling my name and everthing else. If yall don't rock, I dunno who else rocks (besides God).

and thank you to many very special people who facebooked msned and msged or called me thoughout the day to wish me. LOVES.

I'm afraid I'll miss out people so I won't name.

On a side note, I had 3 cakes, 2 exactly the same, bought by different groups of people. All 3 were bought from the same place! Haha. I'm gonna be eating cake for breakfast for another week I think! =)

My lovlies wanted to surprise me at church today, but I surprised them back instead. Haha! I bet they were disappointed. I'm sorry dears, I thought it would be fun. Two can play in a game like that. I'm rebellious and love giving people a hard time. Sometimes. Haha. Hey anyway life's unpredictable what. Heh.

I am predictable sometimes, like, how some people will surely know I'll definitely blog. But at times I am unpredictable, people can't understand my actions. =)

One more hour and five minutes before I turn 19, I hope people who matter to me will remember to wish me, especially one of my favourite people in the world.

Ohhhhhh. Cheryl has a secret!

Haha. Not really. This creates an air of mystery ain't it?

WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS CHARACTER?

BOY OR GIRL?

WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP?

I hate that I start work tomorrow. I feel sian already.

I'm not sure why I chose to work for lower pay than frolick, longer hours, less fun, you see less people, yada yada.

God has a plan la. =)

I'm just gonna follow. Haha.