They just came over again, watched the Dragon Tiger Gate, ate ice cream and cheese sausages, sparred and left. Haha.

Yesterday was FUN.

Breakfast. Macs. With the guys.

Shopping for food. Giant. Candy Empire.

Reached Tanjong beach. Lunch.



Station master at the Capeiora stage.



Endured horrible music/ sound checks by some chinese band.

Rained. Slept at delifrance while waiting for teams to arrive. HEH.

Videoed about 3-4 teams. Some were hilarious, like Bryan's team haha!



And daddy led Gracie's CG like his own NS men HAHA. (I got the video, damn funny haha!)

Walked all the way to Palawan's toilet. My feet hurt. Haha.

I thought I took friggin fast to wash up already but the guys were even faster. From all the way inside I heard them shouting my name and I laughed out loud. And the toilet cleaner thought I was mad. Haha.

Caught the wave of people who just finish watching the Songs of the Sea show, so going back to Vivo took super long. Hungry. We were all eating digestive biscuits in the queue. Haha.

I slept all the way home after dinner, on the train, right from harbourfront. SHIOK.

Spot the real acsian.

I dreamt I brushed my teeth three times with three different toothbrushes. At different times duh.

I laughed so hard at Jesse that my stomach hurt. Haha.

He was all, " Shawty get loose loose loose..."

It's amazing how we're all still not over rapture yet though it's coming to a month now.

You hear people (like us) sing hotride, radioactive, voosh... =)

Last paper tomorrow, before the holidays. Yayes.

FINALLY. After almost a year of "Sorry, it's out of stock." at Candy Empire..

STARBURST SQUIRTS.

oh LOVES.

Bryan bought it for me! =D

This and fruitfuls, my fav.

Oh oh oh and econs today, not too bad.. I didn't study microeconomics at all, only read through elasticities a lil about 15 minutes before my paper, and considering I didn't read through macro policies, international trade, my handing in blank paper in BT2s, I think I'll do normal. Or slightly better than normal. Like an E or something. Yeah. Pretty bad. But I'll study harder. MUCH harder.

Math tomorrow, and I haven't even dug out my notes.

Damn I should have stayed in school. Would have gotten more studying done than pizzahutting with half my class. Rarghs.

For now, I'll continue being a slacker, eating my STARBURSTS and watching Ellen Degeneres, Shawn Johnson, Carly Patterson and Zhuann on youtube. ;)

He kept talking and complaining non-stop. In all my chinese proficiency:

The china man asked for a dollar. Or two. And he said he met selfish people who didn't want to give him a dollar.

I say go find a job, stop grumbling about the lack of sympathy. You have arms and feet, you can easily get a job.

----------------------------



Mummy went body-shopping today and got 6 bottles. The last one's mine. I got it more than 2 years ago from Cheryl Teo, but I forgot about it and am only using it now. Haha.

But the colours are not making me smile today. Even ice cream isn't.

It's been a while since I wanted to cry over school work.

Today's one of those rare days.

My parents made me feel like when I grow up and when I need to find work, there won't be any for me. Not cos I can't do it, but cos I don't want it.

How about I really have no idea what I want to do in life. Absolutely no idea.

Or rather, I do, but I tell you I don't, cos anyway you'll say no.

I want to act. To be on camera. To perform. More camera than stage but I enjoy stage too. Sing, yeah, that too. Dance, less of that, though I really REALLY love it. I don't mind.

I don't need a big role, I don't have to be the main star, I just love the process of filming, redo-ing every scene until perfection, repeating lines and actions, giving the same emotions again and again. Bringing the story to life, bringing the characters to audience.

Tiring? Yeah. But thats what I love, my passion.

Boring? Absolutely not.

Ever since primary 2, it's been my dream.

I'm not gonna sleep with directors for big roles, that will just make the whole production crappy, cos there might be someone else better than me at my role. It's the whole production, it's not about me. I want what I deserve, what I can do best.

Plus sleeping with people and all that, it's just against what I believe in.

I don't wanna be some office worker, sitting behind the desk for fixed hours, leaving home and going home at the same time every day. I want change, I want to interact with new people all the time, I want to see new stuff. Unless of course, the office is in a church. I'll be a church staff anytime.

But other than that, I don't know.

Mummy and daddy kept naming jobs. And I could tell they were trying to name all the more interesting jobs in the office. They were trying to avoid the word "act".
So much for supportive parents.

Doesn't matter, I'm not thinking about it now. I'll leave it to God to settle it for me.

Cold weather is NICE.

Good hair days 90% of the colder days. =))

Prelims are totally screwed. But I'll tell myself that it's A levels I'm studying for.

Jacket on whole day, comfortable. (I had it on the whole day also due to the horrible print on the only other piece of brown top I have, since bryan took my over-the-top shirt. )

Ate so much.

Pictures taken yesterday were damn ugly, I didn't like those.

Picture taken today, nice. That's cos it's a GOOD HAIR DAY WHOOHOO. =)

I co-bought a damn ugly ah-ma print umbrella cos it was raining so hard.

Slept through lit.

Did class video filming today in the CC just before k lesson. RISKY. 2 hours gone like that.

But fun la. Filming is always fun, though tiring.

Can't wait for everything to be done!

And I'm so tired although it's only 11pm.

I SHALL GO SLEEP NOW.

Smsed serene from tm, like earlier, supposed to call her but she didn't reply me! Maybe she's sleeping already. Aiy.

No bird's nest today! Too shiok, cannot every day eat.

Daddy and mummy spent the whole sund afternoon picking out the feathers and we had it for supper for 3 days. Means 3 days never uzap. HAHA. But it was damn good.

Ok LAH nevermind LAH no supper means can uzap. HAHA.

I think I'm sprouting nonsense. Lack sleep. Must be.

Heartbreak?

NAAAWT.

Speechless?

Yeah.

But I know it'll be over soon. I just know.

But this means I'm safe. =)

My geog teachers rock.

Seriously. 2 of the coolest teachers I've had in life. So far.

It's times like these when I need the support, when I need a shoulder to cry on, that
1% of me wished I said yes.

Now I'm in school.

And there's no place for me to take refuge, for me to hide.

No more secret hiding place in the basement, although I've still spent half my time in school there. Dancing.

To a certain extent, it still is, my hiding place. I used dance as my form of excape from studying.

Now I'm vulnerable. No more dance.

I gotta find another place.

Blogging it out in an empty computer lab is helping to take away part of this uneasiness and _________ I'm feeling now.

But I still wanna cry.

Somebody save me from school.

Today's sermon was almost the same as yesterday's.

Introduction to SHAPE. =))

I still think it's very exciting! Heh.

Studied relatively little in comparison to other weekends.

But hey, table tennis finals! Cannot don't watch! Haha!

Wynnie Eliel Elisha Daryl came over, ate claypot rice, NICE, and we watched the a little disappointing match.

(Mummy made a comment on one of the guys, HAHA. Aiyoh.)

I'm not disappointed cos of the loss, but cos I think Singapore made a bit too many mistakes that could have potentially drawn the score closer. Not that it'll make much of a diff cos it's still a loss, but at least it'll be a better play.

Nevertheless, WELL DONE LI JIAWEI, FENG TIANWEI AND WANG YUE GU for clinching the silver, after a 48 year olympic medal drought. DAMN PROUD. =)

-------------------------------------

Miss Seow messaged me today.

Miss Seow:
Cheryl, can we find another timeslot for geog tut? either a later slot on monday or later in the week?

Me:
Huh miss seow correct cheryl or not? Or you mean consultation?

Miss Seow:
tmr we have tut at 9 right?

Me:
Oh yeah haha! I thought tuition HAHA! Ok ok can yeah should be. =)

Miss Seow:
Cheryl you're such a cartoon!

Heheh. I was like HUH since when I got geog tuition one? Maybe Miss Seow teaches another cheryl outside school geog tuition. It didn't occur that tut meant tutorial, not tuition HAHA.

I got new earpieces today, after my ipod ones melted when I wa studying halfway. Haha. Lucky central has harvey norman so I just went to buy it immediately.

It's a weird fit though, the ones I got.

Or maybe I gotta get used to it.

A repeat of the then.

But at a different place, with a different person, a different feeling altogether.

What was the same was the intention (though less obvious), the food, the time.

You're not thinking of the same thing as I am.

When one leaves, two return.

It's a never ending game.

--------------------------------

When I look at you, I see you're looking at me.

--------------------------------

I had a very weird dream.

There were 3 people in my dream.

S, R and me.

But I won't tell you about it, it's my lil secret.

Unless you're S, R or me.

Mummy's been giving me American ginseng capsules every morning.

And I just eat it although the ginseng smell ah, WOAH.

Today I read the back of the bottle and it said-

Indication: Traditionally used for general weakness and health.

HUH HELLO CHERYL IS BE THE STRONG AND HEALTHY IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT.

Haha.

-----------------------------------

It's exciting to see how God can use me to encourage.

I mean like, GOD USES ME! =))

Mummy got a new fridge just like that.

She said the old one was too small.

I TOTALLY AGREE.




This is my FAVOURITE part of the fridge. The ice drawer. I know I'll be opening it A LOT. Heh.


Same amount of food. MCUH MORE SPACE (not for long). Oh mama I'm loving it.


-----------------------

I'm sorry I gotta be so harsh.

I didn't want to. I don't.

But.

I really don't wanna hold you back.

You deserve better.

There are so many more prettier girls out there.

I'd be damn selfish if I let you wait.

God brought be back to Him.

He reminded me again how small I was. And how I should be asking for help.

He reminded me that I was His child. And He loves me no matter what.

When He touched me, I was reminded how much I love to be in His presence.

His Holy Spirit fills me and it overflows and I can't help but cry.

SO.

Mich's birthday.

We, Jo Beeth Aud and I

We met up

Broke light sticks

Walked the square around her house.

Put light sticks and random letters everywhere along the square.

For michelle to follow.

Audrey went in.

And.

I waited behind the tree.

Aud was inside having dinner.

Jo and beeth were waiting behind some cars.

Jo called Aud to tell her to distract Mich so that I could ring the doorbell.

I rang and ran.

And we hid till Mich was safely far before setting up candles and cake and flowers and all in her room. =)

Beeth had leg cramps from waiting behind the car too long. HAHA.

We popped poppers and took pictures and ate and youtubed wacky stuff and watched aveil play nice guitar and played alcatraz (i think its alcatraz if i remember right) and went home.



LOVELY NIGHT. =)

-------------------------------

National day celebrations.

In school, painted class banner.

Wrapped hamper for old poor people.

Then went to HC to film with the green screen.





Fun fun.

Zhuann and I then lunched at Pizzahut, did more filming and pictures at the railway track and then we went home.




So act cool. I like. Haha.


LOVES.

Michelle's birthday was another successful sixinaclique plan. =) I'll update more tomorrow, shall sleep before 12 today! YAY!

What was once the world's, now is in my hands.

I don't want it.

What was once mine for a day is not in my hands anymore.

I want it back.

My real reason.





I know already.





No I don't.





Or rather.

I don't want it to be my reason.

Let me weigh pros and cons.

Pros

1. My first.
2. Experience. (Which is a subset of number 1)
3. Support (Which I always wanted)


Cons

1. If something happens before A levels, that's it.
2. I don't know what am I supposed to do in a r/s.
3. Commitment. Means less time with other friends.
4. Religion (Not mine)
5. YF's under 19 rule.

"Temptation to try something new" versus "So far clean slate"?

Something made me think. Not that I don't usually think.

Seriously, I think we should all just put aside whatever selfish thoughts we have and look at the good side of it.

Everything done is to our benefit, for us, little otherwise. And yet. Whatever done is still wrong.

Like my teacher always says, "The universe does not revolve around you."

We gotta break all these barriers that keep parts of us from each other. We gotta stand together and be brutally honest with each other. We gotta share. Everything. Otherwise we won't know each other fully. Otherwise we won't grow. And isn't that what we all want? To grow? Together? To support and be there for each other?

I'm sorry for being hypocritical by standing both sides. Or none at all. But from now I'll just be as honest as I can and speak whatever I feel is right.

There is something wrong with us. And we gotta do something about it.

No more segregation please. Let's just sacrifice and be together.