It hasn't been a while since I last blogged. But so much has happened I think I had better keep the memory somewhere safe. I don't want to lose it.

Gus' birthday was celebrated with half the class. Swensons at marina square it was and Zhuann, Rachel, Nick, Gus, Ian and I walked all the way, from the MRT station. We got lost halfway but always, as long as food is our final destination's reward, we would never get lost for long.

Gus walked away from the table about 3times and in that few minutes, zhuann passed me his camera and I filmed the rest of the class' birthday greeting.

We had pretty lil cupcakes instead of a real whole cake and had fun watching Gus open his presents. It's lucky the class decided to chip in to get his presents together. Otherwise there would be duplicate presents. Like the set of fake moustaches I bought with Jiaen. Ame and Serene almost got them until I told them I had bought them already. What can I say? Great minds think alike eh. =)

We bowled 2 games later and cam whored like mad there. Or rather, Zhuann took quite a few pictures of us. Haha. He later complained he was already tired. =p

Thats Serene Ame and I at the wall.

With "maria" tagging behind, carrying the doggy-bagged cupcakes.

I thought this was cool. Haha. One of the cam whoring pictures taken by zhuann.

zhuann finished the video at 11 and sent it to Gussie before uploading on youtube. Its frickin' HILARIOUS! Haha. Seriously, the first 4 seconds already saw me burst out in laughter.

Go watch it. Just search for "The Happy Birthday Gus Project". =)

It had more than 50 hits in an hour. I say thats how popular. YAY! Haha.

That's my friday.

Saturday was spent with Daddy at Raffles City. We went to inagiku for good jap food. HAHA. Daddy sent a message to mummy in vietnam, asking her if she wanted to join us. Mummy just replied," idiot". HAHA.

Queued for 15 minutes for 2.5 dozen doughnuts, then brought 2 dozen to church. I thought Ps Dave's message was funny and interesting. And we played board games for CG time! Haha. I won the CG overall. Yeah. Girl power ( I was the only girl).

Jonathan came in halfway and I carried him around for a while. He was getting excited seeing all the small game pieces. Haha. I took pictures with him. HE is EXTREMELY ADORABLE. LOVE HIM. =))

Took an hour's bus ride to clarke quay and had a drink before cabbing down to daddy chew's house. NICE. Love the pool there. Absolutely amazing. It's like a maze. Aww I wish I were 8 again. Haha. Swings and slides and water guns and all in the pool...

Auntie Christina took me upstairs and I saw their house. The house was rather small as compared to their older house and YCK but I think the facilites make up for the lack of space. Auntie Christina complained about how she keeps knocking her head against the sink when hand washing her clothes. Haha. I saw quite a lot of similarities between my house and theirs. Quite a number of similar appliances around the house. I think their house is NICE. Have I said that already? Haha.

Sunday saw me up at 8am. But doing nothing until 820am. Wanna guess why? Aiy I'll just tell you. The guys were hogging the toilet again! My tians I tell you, I was quite pissed cos in the end I didn't get to eat the double choc doughnut. Stupid bryan took it, after daddy reserved it for me! RARGH. We left the house at 840am. Church starts at 845 and we take 20 minutes to get there. And then in the end I was blamed cos we didn't reach church on time. I told mummy my story at dinner earlier (SUSHI. YEAH MAN.) and she said it was a valid complain. HAH.

Next time, the guy should wake up at 7 and hurry clear up the toilet for me to use at 8. Thank you. =)

I'm letting it go. and I'm letting God take control. It's too much for me to worry about anyway. Haha.

So why give me hope when you already are thinking " NO"?

I was spotted and I was excited.

So for the first time since I was 8 (do the math), someone else is telling me that my dream is not just a dream, it can become reality.

Why not? I checked them out, sounds legal, sounds clean, sounds strict but sounds good.

The mother checked it out, but what she told me wasn't what I wanted to hear.

" I tentatively agreed to the 2nd interview cos I wanted to know what their company did and who they are."

" I don't mind you going through the course but I don't want you to do any assignments till you get your university degree. No assignments, not even during the long holidays after A levels. You will be a relief teacher, or work in my office, keying in stuff and doing up excel files. You will give tuition and babysit."

" When you're 21 then you take care of yourself. If you still got that passion then by all means go for it."

" BUT I don't think they will keep you for that long if you don't do assignments."

Said the father," The entertainment industry is full of smokers and clubbers and drinkers. I don't want you to be influenced by them when you do assignments. So the best is to stay away from them."

" Take Annabel Chong for example. Raffles student, but one day she went cuckoo and had sex with hundreds of men. It's in the Guinness World of Records."

" Entertainers marry and remarry and remarry and remarry."

Sounds like a No from the beginning. So why give me false hope. This is what my parents like to do. Always give false hope. Always force you to do something you dont want to do. Always trying to steer you in the direction they WANT you to take. Safest way is the best way. Even if it means no fun, no laughter and no joy. No discussion. No talking back even if its valid points cos that would just mean you're plain stubborn, you have no manners and you can't control yourself so why should we give you any choice at all?

Its not as if I have no self control, its not as if I always fall into temptation when they come my way. You say most of the entertainers drink and smoke and club. You say its a dirty business. But don't just look on the bad side. Come on, there are happy families too. Its not as if in my eyes, there's only good. Of course I see the bad side. But I'm not doing it for the money or the fame. I'm doing it because it was my passion and dream since 1998. You're just killing my dream cos you don't like what I dream. So what for sustain me and keep me alive. So what for dream. I should have woken up 10 years ago.

You say I should go overseas and study. But you keep telling me you won't send me overseas to study. " Just get a scholarship." You think its so easy huh. Have you ever wondered if I wanted to go overseas to study? Haha. Joke. No.

I'm on my way to achieving my dream. I'm on my way to what I want to do in life. Normally, parents support their children and tell them not to give up in life. So why are my parents so abnormal? Why are they trying to make me become a teacher, a banker, a white collar worker?

Don't they get it? After 17 years they still don't get it?

I dont want to be cooped up in an air-conditioned office the whole day, breathing in cold dry air. I want to be out there in the open, even if it means perspiration, rain, thunder and lightning. Cos thats what I enjoy.

Don't tell me " I can always set up a company and attract all the young girls also what."

Don't tell me " Bullshit".

Don't tell me " Ok but not now, wait 4 years. Wait till your passion dies off then you'll reconsider."

So you think after 10 years my passion can just die off like that?

If in the first place you dont want me to be like this then why enrol me into speech and drama lessons, why make me sing and dance when I was younger for your relatives and friends when they are over for dinner, why allow me to be in drama club or dance when you don't want me to love it? Just force me to join an intellectual cca like debate. Oh no. Then I'll be able to speak up against you. Better not huh. Maybe library club would be better. I would just read all day quietly, sometimes dreaming of becoming the next president.

If you wanted to take me out of table tennis when I was in secondary 2, what for put me in the cca from the beginning?

In the first place if you wanted me to be a quiet little girl, without the ability to say no to whatever her parents want her to do, or plan for her to do, then why didn't you sew up my mouth when I was a baby? Or tear out my voice box?

I hate it when my parents show me the dreams they have for me, cos its not mine.

I hate it when they don't trust me and treat me like a little girl, who have no cares of the world and only want what's in front of her, always falling into temptation of sweets, not knowing how painful the toothache would be later. I have plans, I have my own ideas, thank you. I know what the industry may bring to me but I'll be ready to face it. I have my limit and I can say no too you know. I have priorities and I know what is important. I am not going to give up on studies once I tasted how sweet the entertainment industry is. I'm not a girl anymore. Wake up, your daughter is growing up already.

I keep praying for opportunities and I keep praying I'll be prepared for them. So why is it when one finally knocks on my door after 3 years (when you said no again to a good opportunity) you say no again? What for pray for opportunities then? I should pray for a life instead.

Besides, you keep saying you've seen so much. So how come you still don't understand that when you keep forcing your child to a point so much, usually they rebel? So you want to see me drink smoke club and all?

Sorry but I know what's best of me. Even if you don't. Cos thats what I see. You don't. You don't understand.

So today was SA's open house. We had a dance performance in the CC at 12noon and one at 2pm at the linkway outside the GO.

Everyone was in a terrible mess during the CC performance. I had absolutely no make up and had to borrow everything. I decided that I had to get my own kit.

I thought our first performance was crap. Rather horrible. Wardrobe malfunctions and all. But the second performance was good. =) Miss K was watching our 2nd performance. But before that, she HAD to hold up the whole school to scold a dancer for not handing up work. WHAT THE FRIGGING TOOTS. SERIOUSLY, come on man. She doesn't own the whole school. She just HAD to allow the attention to rest on her.

If Miss K was slightly more lenient and can bond with the students better rather than terrorize them, I think more people would enjoy lit more.

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So. I need mascara. ( Loreal volume shocking mascara = nice. )

2nd) Eye shadow. Of course not as ridiculous as this 130 colour palatte.

3rd) Eyeliner (I have no idea what brand is good.)

4th) Blusher ( Yuck)

5th) Creper! (What the toots. I need this! Mascara without creper is weird. Haha.)

6th) Lipstick ( Yuck I hate this)

Foundation and all the other yucky crap- Buy also wont use. Yuck.

I have no idea what's going on.

Stop.

SAJC OPEN HOUSE

17 NOVEMBER 2007 (this saturday)

POTONG PASIR

10AM to 4PM

*dance would be performing at 12noon and 2pm. =)

COME LOOK SEE LOOK SEE!

(oh my tians i sound like some despo saleswoman.)

So, I've started on my christmas list of things I want to get but probably can't afford it all.

(Cue: you. Heh.)

So you've seen number 1,


BIOTHERM ABDO CHOC (refer to previous post for image)


2. UZAP (the one existing in my room is cranky already.)



3. Lime green crumpler messanger bag. (orange/red/grey/black/blue also nice.)





4. Lime green crumpler laptop case (Length:35cm/13.5inches, Diagonal length: 42cm/16inches)


More when I think of it. =)

This is what you get if you leave Bryan Hoe at home alone for a day.

Nuff said.

A picture speaks a thousand words. But in this case, this two thousand word essay is not complete without the following few..

" What I want for Christmas"

Call me crazy.

=)

It's 4.29am. Early in the morning. An ungodly hour. Actually, I have no idea why they call it an "ungodly" hour. I mean like, God is everywhere, everytime, He's in the past, present, future, always. So at 4.29am, God is still present. So why "ungodly". Bah. Doesn't matter. Point is, I'm still awake. Just finished packing all the JC1 materials into their respectful files, according to subjects. I'm happy, I aimed to finish by Sunday. Technically, it's Monday already, but I haven't slept yet so let's just consider this as Sunday. =)

I'm tired but I'm pretty happy. =)

By Monday 12noon, I would have handed in my I&R. Meaning that my PW is really, totally, finally OVER. Yeah, you heard me right. OVER. No more proposals, no more reports after reports, no more presentations and all that kinda crap.

Haha I just remembered something ramdom. Eliel told me," DON'T. WORK. HARD." on Saturday when I was leaving TM and he was standing by the door. Easy for you to say.

The heartpains are back and I hope the leak didn't worsen. No visible MPV which is good. But that was a while ago.

Saturday. Going to the doctors to get a jab. They think I might have TB. I pray not. One of the symptoms is chest pains. Damn it.

I'm needle-phobic. Oh dear. But I'll try not to avoid the jab, I'll try not to cry cos seriously, it's damn embarassing. But I can't help it. I become crazy when I go too close needles. Haha.

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1 week of holidays down. 7 short ones left. I have so much to cover in 7 short weeks. This is not much better than normal school days. Not that I'm looking forward to school. I have Miss K for H1 lit next year. Oh God bless me.

During her introductory lecture, I didnt dare move a whisker. What the toots, I didn't even dare touch my hair in fear of her picking me out of the crowd. What the toots, what a teacher. So how do I put " STRONGLY AGREE" on school surveys when they ask if my teachers are approachable?

I'm telling you, the school sets the survey questions biasly. They set it in a way that they get the answers they want. BRILLIANT.