Social night was fun! I keep saying it was good and I enjoyed myself but daddy chew doesn't believe me I think. Haha.

I wore the simple white and red dress nicole from dance lent me. Mummy was home when I came home from school and she helped me prepare for it. I forgot to iron the dress darn it. Thank goodness mummy was home. Heh. I think Mummy was a bit more excited than me. She asked me if I wanted to put on make up, if I had lip gloss, tissues, money, handphone in my bag...

After telling me a lot of stuff to do or not to do, I went downstairs and daddy and auntie christina picked me up. We went to his house before taking a cab to raffles marina. THE TAXI FARE WAS ABOUT $30 DOLLARS!! Madness!!

Daddy's vice-chairman was there with his girlfriend already and for a moment I felt rather overdressed. Hazima ( I hope I got it right) was wearing pants and a woollen top. And I wore heels, a dress that's fit for prom (though I wont wear it for prom).. Lucky for me, most of the other girls dressed up more than me, with lots of make up and made-up hair... Heh.

I helped to decorate the picture frames that were given out as prizes for the blind bogey competition and the mr and miss echo competition. Basically I made the dance prize as gay as possible with pink, purple, hearts, kisses, flowers and so on though I knew that only a selected few guys were saboed into the game. HAHA.

Daddy and I constantly koped m&ms from the big jar of it throughout the whole of registration. It was for the "guess the number" game. Heh. At first we were unnoted. Then Daddy's vice-chairman caught us and was all," BUT I got the exact number leh! Haha." Oh well. We continued koping after that anyway. Heh.

Daddy kept a nice rose for me before all the other girls took a rose each... Yayes! =) Woots. Good to be the first few to arrive.

There was the couple shot thing where they took your pictures and printed it out immediately for you. At first I thought the picture was quite nice. But then I kept looking at it and realised that I didn't look that good afterall. Haha. I had huge eyebags and my eyes look too small. Maybe I was about to close my eyes. AIYAH.

The buffet dinner was good. The quality was slightly above average. But there was one one serving thats all. Meaning that if the food ran out, they wont replenish it. Not that I needed more, I had more than enough. But I guess NSmen eat a lot. Haha.

The program went well I guess. I thought the blind bogey was the cutest. The saboed guys were very sporting and went all out, dancing like mad. At some points in time, the guys were like humping each other. HAHA. The whole dance was very entertaining. =)

A few more games were carried out such as the "know your date" game which was pretty hilarious and amazing at the same time. Bala the guy with the blind date actually managed to survive for so long into the game. Everytime he and his date got identical answers, everyone would cheer like mad. HAHA.

One question I remember is," If your date were a fish, what would he be?"

Most of the couples gave identical answers which was very surprising if you asked me. I mean like, some of them could be so specific as to name the species of shark or give the name of a movie character. One couple gave," Reef shark", what the toots. And another had," Nemo".

Throughout the whole dinner, daddy had to run about doing errands and managing the whole program. I think he spent less than half the time in his seat. Haha.

After the whole dinner, we waited for daddy's parents to pick us up and ate more m&ms. Heh. There were quite a few roses left so daddy picked all the nice ones for me. HAHA. So now I have a total of 9+1(that I already had)=10!! =)) Already more than what everyone gave me altogether this year! Yayes!! Nice long stemmed beauties all sitting in my room being dried at this very moment. Soon, I'll be able to put them all in the vase I bought at IKEA recently. Nice nice! =)

I can't wait for comms ball next year! It should be more fun! =) Daddy said he would reject being in the comms ball committee so that he could sit down more and enjoy his comms ball. Apparently the whatever instructor/trainer person already asked him if he wanted to do comms ball too. Haha.

I have no idea what I am doing here. But I kinda want to digress from my revision for promos.

I'm a lil worried what may come my way.

Teacher's telling you you'll probably retain is not a very happy thought. I asked Mr Nah what he thought of my potential to promote. He just gave a very big sigh and told me to just do my best.

I'm thinking, what if it's God's plan for me to retain?

I don't like that plan. I don't want to follow it. I want to be like Jonah in the Bible, where He "ran away". But come to think of it, his boat did get knocked by the storm, he did get thrown overboard, he did get swallowed by a big fish. I can imagine the fear and shock of being swallowed by a fish already.

On the other hand, I'm like, obligated to follow God cos I know it would be stupid not to. God's God. He knows everything, He controls everything. I'm His child and He's my father.

People tell me to leave it in His hands but I just aren't willing to do so. I just want to promote. But I want God with me. I want Him to work with me through the A levels. Otherwise, it would be another wasted year.

Maybe God wants to use this to punish me. But I don't want to accept the reality of it.

Day by day everything is becoming clearer. But I'm praying for a miracle.

I shall have faith in Him to guide me through. It's a matter of trust. It's difficult, but I'll.

Societal expectations and other social pressures don't allow me to retain. I shan't let myself.

Ouch. 2 sudden split second heart pains. I don't like.

They are not the least bit worried.
They kinda broke my heart today.

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SA felt the tremors again.
Right after assembly, our class was in the comp lab when I thought I was feeling giddy.
Then I was wondering why the table could move in a circular motion. HAHA.
Cheyenne opened the comp lab door and we heard a loud commotion.
Turned out, everyone was like rushing to the assembly area.
EMERGENCY EVACUATION.
Fun fun.
We sat at the track and played hamburger slam for about half an hour before going back for lessons. Haha.

I slept in all my lessons again. And Serene said I snored in geog. HAHA.

I dont snore ok people. HAHA. Maybe I just breathed damn hard. Like deep breathing or something.

But I dont snore thats for sure. =)

Today's pain check: Yes. A bit worse at night than previous days. On-off throughout the day. Dull.

Thank You God, for giving me opportunities today. I pray that when more come my way, You'll let me be prepared for them.

I pray Lord, that I can have enough self control and disipline to sit down and do more work. I want to be promoted Lord.

Today's pain check: Yes. Dull. On-off throughout the day, less than yesterday. But sharper pain before and after sleep.

I slept through the whole chinese class today and laoshi said she gave up on me. But it didn't break my heart nor did it affect me. Afterall, it's not the first time I've heard it already.

I slept in all the rest of the lessons I had. I had more sleep but I don't know why I was more tired. Hmm.

Felt weird throughout the day, mainly because it was very obvious she was avoiding me. But I did all I can to make up and make peace, so it's all up to her to make the first move.

Finished studying term 1's human geog. Now there is term 2 and 3 and physical geog to cover. Let's not talk about lit, econs and math for now. =)

Wished the twins happy birthday today via sms and they both replied at the same time and exactly the same message. HAHA. It was pretty cool.

Today's pain check: Yes. Sharp before I slept last night and when I woke up. Dull during the day but less subtle than yesterday. On-off throughout the day.

First day of school and Diana Sybil and Becca ponned. For a few moments I blamed myself and wondered if I didn't didn't come to school, would they go?



But because they didn't go, I had a chance to open my eyes and see the other people who were around me. People I was blinded from cos of the comfort I enjoyed while with the girls.



Chinese was as usual, horrible. Laoshi woke me up a few times but eventually she gave up and let me sleep through the hour and half lesson.



The weather was so good and everyone was reluctant to do PE. We still did though. All 10 minutes of it. Haha.



During PW, the whole group of us classmates sat in a circle and talked about all sorts of funn stuff, about how different names alone gave different impressions and all. Then Jonadab proceeded to holding his breath for 3 and a half minutes. His face was the colour of death for a while and it was scary. But then, we all decided to join in!! HAHA. So yeah, all of us competed to see who could hold their breath for a longer time. Of course, Jonadab won the whole thing hands down. But I came in one of the tops too! With 2 minutes 10 seconds.



After PW, Const, Ian and I went downstairs to see the progress of the art works and we were all pretty amazed at what we saw. Stunning painting. We're going back in a few days to take pictures of the hopefully completed works.



Rachel Ian Const and I took quite a number of crazy pictures. From transformer/robotic themed ones to horror themed ones. Pretty cool I say.



Const and I went for lunch and econs together and we had pretty cool conversations.



Both of us agree that Const and I got on well and we talked about how if we didn't know anyone at all at the beginning of the year and there were no secondary school friends or whatsoever, we just might have been in the same clique.



I guess this is the reason God gave me all these recent conflicts. Thank You God, for all these. Cos it was a blessing in disguise truly.

Today's pain check: Yes. Dull. Whole day.

Do not give in to sadness or desperation for what you are going through today.

God knows how you feel.

God knows exactly and with perfection what is being allowed to happen to you in your life at this precise moment.

So even if I am worried, I should not be. God has perfect plans for me.

" He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases..."

Today's pain check: Yes. Dull. Night. Short while.

so i dont even know whats going on. i dont know why God gave me all these to handle all at a go.
but i know that He wont give me something too big that i cant handle.

God,

please give me to disipline to sit down and study for promos. i dont want to retain. help me understand all i need to or at least what i need to to promote.

help me through this tough time, as i suffer the consequences of the actions i have made, and help me grow from these experiences. let me not be such a big mouthed person, help me be more of a listener than speaker.

Lord i pray that everthing would be fine, and i know You'll always be with me.

Lord i pray that in case anything bad happens to me, You'll let me be at peace with everyone.

Lord, i put my faith in You. You'll help me through the journey to heaven, my walk on earth.

Ian's party went fine. But our class had our very first conflict. Quite cool.Years later, we're all gonna laugh at this.



I blame myself even if Gussie persist that it's not the least bit me.



Maybe I should have been more careful.



But now if taking the blame eases tension, I dont mind being used for once.

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Today is one day later and tension is still in the air.

I went to the cardiologist and for the first time, was afraid of what I had to hear.

I did another ECG. This time with a machine of high technology. So the ECG lasted a whole minute instead of the 5 minutes I had to endure 2 weeks earlier.

The doctor's actions were not the usual listen to your heartbeat kinda actions. He listened to my heartbeat while I sat, laid down, stood..

Then he asked a few questions and gave his verdict.

Pretty cool way to deliver such a message I say. Relief first then shock. Then solutions.

Had to wait another 20 minutes to do the echo. Which lasted half an hour. It took so long I almost slept whilst the assistant took all the infomation she needed. At times, I heard some thumping noises, so I presumed they were the sounds of my heartbeat. Pretty weird noises if you asked me.


Looks like there is a tiny little problem I have.

I slept at 6 plus in the morning after finishing about 4 pages of WR. How productive.
Note: sacarsm intended.

Following that, Sybil woke me up and we took a bus to Rachel's house. I RAN FOR THE BUS and sybil saw me dashing across the overhead bridge. Ok, major unglamness! HAHA.

We did quite a bit of work at Rachel's UBER COOL house. Its frickin' big, and super artistic though it is a little messy.

Sybs, Gussie and I declared that it was really the coolest house. Haha.

Sybs left after the laksa which was TEA. I thought it was dinner, my goodness! Heh.

Then Gussie explained Monopoly to me and we had dinner whilst watching Blades of Glory. What a nonsensical show. But it was entertaining all the same.

I got locked out at the balcony by Gussie that meaniepok and he proceeded to read my smses in front of me. Haha. No scandals recently so it was fine. We read each other's messages anyway. So thats what I did when I got back into the room. And to add on, I sent Zhuann quite a few suggestive messages. So for a few minutes, "Gussie" and Zhuann had a very horny sms conversation. HAHA.

Mutual pact: Gussie was ratty with me and I watch dead silence with him afterthat.

My gosh, I regretted immediately after crossing pinkies.

Tomorrow we're all coming over to my house to study and swim at night. Cos today, we just studied until eventually there wasnt time to swim as planned. Which was good! Can you imagine swimming at 8 30pm at night.. FREEZING. At least the hot tub in my compound is heated. NOT SO BAD. Haha. So yeah, tomorrow is full speed mugging until 8. Then relax till I dunno what time.

I abandoned my room and left it in such a messy state that Auntie Mia commented that a plane must have crashed in my room.


Went to meet Sybs Beckie Gussie Zhuann. Beckie explained plate movements and resultant landforms. It was a really fruitful session.



Halfway, Sybs went for dinner with her family and becca also went off.

The guys then had a craving for sushi, so we walked to Sushi Tei.

Zhuann ate his first few strands of soba my gosh! HAHA. And we 3 cam whored for a while before going home. Gussie tried to play the guitar but stopped after people occupied the table beside ours. HAHA.

I better start studying.





I should probably stay in school after econs and math tomorrow to do work. Otherwise, no work would be done.





I really don't want to be retained.





Not cool to be in the same standard as your little brother, especially in an unbelievably competitive society I am living in.





Its 4am in the morning. I have to wake up at 8. Nice one Cheryl.

I was packing my room today after moving back to serangoon. I saw that I had a lot of storybooks. I saw there was a bookmark in "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" so I sat back down on the chair I was standing on to access the higher shelves and I read from where the bookmark was.

I couldnt hold back my emotion whilst reading.

Mitch Albom has so wonderfully crafted such emotions into a lifeless character like Eddie that not feeling any sense of pity, or sharing the pain and shock with Eddie as he meets his 5 people would just be madness and almost 'inhumane'.

It soften hearts when grown men put aside their pride and all that ego, and willingly express his hurt, show his true emotions, tells his side of the story.

If only you were like that. If only you told me how tired you felt, how sad you were, how angry, how jealous, how happy, how excited, how jealous you were. Then I'll truly be happy, like Maguerite, and know that you really love me.

dance dance dance dance today, in the morning.



everyone said it was good and all. but i was kinda disappointed when mr nah only recognised rachel and not me. tsk aiy.



i regret not doing the dance as well as i can. the stage was too slippery, i couldnt krump properly. tsk aiy.



jonnie junnie cuthbert ryner gabriel smoker chang holy adrian rachel came over to sas to play ball. rachel and i hung out whilst they did so. then we went to macs with gabriel and smoker chang and met my classmates.

then we went back to sas so slack somemore before rachel and i went to my outram crib to pack up stuff. in the end we cam whored and watched youtube. =p

after that, i went to sybils house to study. rachel gussie sybil and i went to the market to get a LOT of food before returning to her house to study. LOVE SYBILS HOUSE. a lot of things to eat!! =))

i reached home at 12 plus.